Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Lately I've been searching for help and resources for male victims of domestic abuse (primarily non-physical abuse). So far the search has not gone well.
If anything, the results I've been finding have only made me feel worse.
It's starting to feel like meaningful resources for male victims are nearly nonexistent based on all the reports and articles I keep finding. According to research it seems that most domestic violence shelters will not provide assistance to men, or if they do it's only a referal to a homeless shelter or a batterer's program for abusive men. On top of that many men who contact domestic violence shelters report being accused of being abusers, ridiculed for being a victim, etc.
https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/3977-researcher-what-hap-3977
Most of the sites and articles I've found are either focused on men who were sexually abused or being physically assaulted by their partner, or are just about telling them not to feel ashamed and that there isn't really much at all that can be done about the abuse. The rest of the sites and articles I've found so far talk about the issue of men abused by women in ways that demean male victims and/or address us as though we are abusers by virtue of being male. I have even come across a big professional website that is supposed to be about providing resources to men in situations like domestic abuse, but the resources they provide are mostly for learning to not be an abuser.
Some of the sites I've found with well written articles on this issue end up with people ranting and raving in the comments about how "misogynistic" it is to claim or suggest that men can be victims of abuse too.
How is someone supposed to get help when even the services and groups that are supposed to help them only ridicule them and tell them that that they deserve to be abused?
If anything, the results I've been finding have only made me feel worse.
It's starting to feel like meaningful resources for male victims are nearly nonexistent based on all the reports and articles I keep finding. According to research it seems that most domestic violence shelters will not provide assistance to men, or if they do it's only a referal to a homeless shelter or a batterer's program for abusive men. On top of that many men who contact domestic violence shelters report being accused of being abusers, ridiculed for being a victim, etc.
https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/3977-researcher-what-hap-3977
Most of the sites and articles I've found are either focused on men who were sexually abused or being physically assaulted by their partner, or are just about telling them not to feel ashamed and that there isn't really much at all that can be done about the abuse. The rest of the sites and articles I've found so far talk about the issue of men abused by women in ways that demean male victims and/or address us as though we are abusers by virtue of being male. I have even come across a big professional website that is supposed to be about providing resources to men in situations like domestic abuse, but the resources they provide are mostly for learning to not be an abuser.
Some of the sites I've found with well written articles on this issue end up with people ranting and raving in the comments about how "misogynistic" it is to claim or suggest that men can be victims of abuse too.
How is someone supposed to get help when even the services and groups that are supposed to help them only ridicule them and tell them that that they deserve to be abused?
You are not a leper. I hope you know that-and you don't feel like one.
It's dismissive to assume that any abused person suffering from mental health issues should be able to just brush it off and ignore something so deeply engrained into the wiring of their brain without significant support and therapy.
Keep looking for the help you need-keep fighting for it. It's a complex, frustrating, long slow process to remission, recovery, treatment-whatever you want to call it.
It doesn't matter how you view yourself or the stigmas you face in situations like that, because as soon as you face the world it's right back to being treated the same way.