Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hey.
This is one of my first posts on this website and the first time I've looked for a support group. Nice meeting you all.
So my little problem is my family. I don't know if what we do is normal. In my childhood, I didn't know anything else besides what they gave me, but now I'm starting to question it.
My family is dysfunctional. My mom is abusive to my dad and has nothing to say to him besides constant criticisms and put downs. My dad has anger issues. They both have too much pride. That means a lot of fights. My mom is a narcissist and believes that she is the smartest, most beautiful person in the world. She can never admit to any wrongdoing. My dad was a happy person before he married her. But she wore down on him and now he is stressed, depressed, and lashes out at me. They both say they love me. I gotta say, I don't feel it.
We never talk during dinner time. All they ever do is keep tabs on my academics. And then it's only about how well everyone else in my classes are doing. "Hey, doesn't ______ have 210%? Why can't you be like her?"
I've always been in the way. A screw up. They've told me plenty of times that I'm the only reason their life sucks so much. I'm between them and their money. I never had anyone to play with, no siblings. I was left home alone a lot. No friends. For three summers they left me home alone, months at a time. It was dark and boring and they never took me outside except on the weekends. No friends and a family that doesn't care = depressed child. Is that normal?
I can list a couple things they've said to me.
"that's for kids! Why are you so childish to play with such stupid things now? You're a waste of money"
(after spilling a carton of soup) "I'm taking away your phone for two months." *proceeds to beat me*
"Look, stretch marks! Such a pity. You'll definitely get more when you have kids. None of my relatives had any. Must be bad genes."
(Several times a week) "You're so fat. Why haven't you started losing weight yet?" (I'm actually of average BMI)
"You're a fucking idiot. I don't know why I care about you."
"Hahaha! What a needy little kid!"
(While watching youtube) "Look! She's looking at pictures of guys again! I'll have to take your phone away." (I've never done anything of the sort)
(While beating the dog to the point that it bleeds) "This is how you make them learn"
"You got a 98% on the biggest test of the year? What did ____ get?" (If they got higher) "That's no good. You have to beat them"
"You spent 8 hours on that?! What a waste of time and our money."
"Remember, I'm your father and I'll always love you." or "Remember, everything we do for you is for your own good."
"Sorry, I need to go on another three week business trip."
"I need to stay at your grandparent's place on weekdays from now on. You'll be home alone on weekdays with your Dad when he gets home at 8:00. But you're used to this, right?"
"We're going to China without you. It's only a three-week trip."
"Isn't (other parent) wrong? *starts rambling about all the ways that they are lesser beings*"
going through.
Sounds like you're in school.
If that's the case, please
go to a counselor or someone
there you trust, and tell them
what you've told us.
You asked a couple times,
"Is this normal?"
Nothing you've written
about is normal. It's all
abuse.
If you're underage,
please connect with
someone who can
help protect you.
After you're safe,
you need counseling
to recover and heal
from what you've been
through.
Please don't continue
on without help.
You deserve to
have an abuse-free
life, going forward
and you're entitled
to get help to heal
from the abuse.
Please take good care.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
safety and healing.
Abuse means you are being harmed. Regardless if its all you know, you are being harmed by it. You may experience things such as anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping or concentrating, issues with self worth or feeling like you don't know who you are, general confusion, or bouts of rage. Are you experiencing any of that? Because those are all some general outcomes of being abused. Abuse victims and survivors may also experience suicidal depression, PTSD, and continue in patterns of abusive relationships in their futures, as well as the physical impact of emotional or physical abuse like broken bones or being sick all the time. Not only is your abuse morally wrong its got serious consequences for the quality of YOUR life! I can see tremendous potential in the young person posting this, it will be exceedingly difficult for you to live that potential if you've got abuse dragging you down. Your abusers will be like drowning men holding onto your ankles-you can't save them you can only drown with them.
It is worth it to protect yourself from abuse in any way you can. And there are resources available to help you do it-this support group being one of them. However I would strongly second HEAL's suggestion to get professional help-contact a domestic violence group and get some help and relief and a plan to keep yourself safe. You don't deserve this and you don't have to live with it.