Welcome NguyenKha.

I didn't realize I was emotionally abused by my mom growing up until after I left my emotionally and physically abusive marriage, after age 30. So kudos to you for discovering early!

I know it's hard to find support in real life. People either misunderstand the subtleties of emotional abuse or chalk it up to the parent's "being tough". Or they might be dysfunctional themselves. You don't necessarily have to cut off your friends, but understand that you have to find your own safe spaces to share your feelings about emotional abuse (i.e. here or a qualified counselor).

While I didn't know I was being abused by my mom while I was younger, I was focused on leaving because I didn't like her treatment of me. So, I left for college out of state and only lived with her once briefly after my dad died, which was probably a mistake in hindsight but I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.

I know it's tough, but if it's at all possible, can you finish your schooling? Or are their scholarships available maybe for disadvantaged students? Or can you transfer to a different school that's cheaper? Maybe check with your financial office to see what your options are. I feel that the schooling and getting a job where you can afford to live on your own will help you get to freedom from your mom.

Also, if you can, get into counseling. And keep reading and posting here to get the support you need.

I'm sorry this is
what you're
going through.

The program manager
who told you that you're
just being "too sensitive"
is wrong. When we feel
pain, it's because someone
has hurt us. Maybe she's
not being sensitive enough,
raising her daughter.

I hope you'll find a way
to stay in college. If
you can't, at least try
and find a counselor
to help you keep working
on healing the emotional
injuries you've suffered.

I hope you'll take
good care of yourself.

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
clarity and healing.

Is there someone else in your family that you can talk to?

I'm sorry, I can't really think of any advice, but you've got my support.

Thank you so much for your support and empathy that's all i need, I was meant to write that my friends gave me advices and that makes me feel worst.
Anyway, i met them yesterday , usually they work at night at their small food restaurant but yesterday they stay home and when i get in the room my mother said they want to talk, and asked "Do you have any problem? Why are you out of the house all day?" with the sad faces but i can see that they are holding her rage inside and ready to swear and yell at me anytime. I can see that see was blaming ME for HER anger and sorrow and i felt so angry and shame and scared.
So i got out of the house and walk to a small dark street near the house that i though they won't think of, but my father found me and tell me to go home, and when i told him to go home and i'll be back later and walk again, he grab my wrist but missed because i pulled my wrist out faster but it still feel hurt because he grabbed strongly and he call my name so loud with a threatening voice behind my back as i keep walking, i felt so scared about that.
I'm so terrified now to see that they intended to stay home for a while, i don't know how they will abuse me next.
Also my younger brother (12 yo), after i set my first boundary, he is obviously angry and blame it on me and started making noisy noise upon me when i sleep (we sleep in a bunk bed) and that makes me feel angry and terrified too. I'm feeling so scared and shame now :( and angry and then depressed after i write down my anger

You really need to talk to a therapist, one that is specialized in this. I went through a very abusive childhood. I really feel the pain that you are going through. Have you tried to talk to them, trying to make them understand? As for your little brother, sit down with him, and explain in a manner that he understands. He is scared and confused too. Parents sometimes do not realize what they are doing is harming their children. Talk to us, we are here to help as much as we can. hugs

I'm so sorry you're going through this. The program manager was wrong in my opinion.

I wish I could adopt you and give you a healthy place to live, study and grow. I'll pray that some way that happens for you and your brother.

You deserve it.

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I came from an emotional abusive family as well. I lived with them a short while when I was studying in college. I also recall depending on naps during the afternoon as my mind was exhausted from school, lectures, reading plus work. Living with my family, I too lost much needed rest to focus on my studies.

So I understand the pain, isolation and lack of sleep you are experiencing.

One good thing that happened to me, after being hurt many times, one day I stopped and decided to make serious changes in who I spent time with. I recognized what an abusive person looked like and went the opposite direction when I spotted one. And gradually life became easier from there.

Perhaps you could seek new activities at your school, and meet new people who share similar interests, people who have opposite traits from the insensitive people you currently know. Perhaps new activities and new people will give you the support you need to get through this difficult time.

It's easy to remain unsocial when you are abused. Put yourself out there, I'm sure there is a great group of friends out there for you.

As advised above look into scholarships, but also check if the school provides therapy. My school did and it was really helpful getting through that hard time in my life in college dealing with my family.

Best of luck!

Hi NguyenKha,
I'm sorry that you're going through this. I actually was in a similar situation with my own parents, specifically my mother being abusive to me. I too was in college at the time and began to realize that how I was being treated was very wrong! I finally moved out and in with my then boyfriend ( who's now my husband), which really pissed her off because she could no longer control me and became even more abusive, so I cut her off.
That program manager can go to hell by the way! Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you're "too sensitive". Get rid of them! I've had to deal with that bullshit too! Is moving out of your parents house an option? I agree with the others who also suggest counseling. Best wishes to you!