I have been there. I clinch my teeth, take a deep breath and remember no one lived my life. There are some people who are so insecure that they get off on hurting others especially now with the virtual world of the internet. It's just internet courage. They are trolling but just let them have their word. Don't respond and just ignore them. It means nothing! Take care:)

This has happened to me too. If it's an 'attack' that makes sense I try to reply in a logical way, but if its just meanness then I don't reply at all. If I feel that the negativity gets to me then I'll spend some time doing yoga or praying or else go jogging in the park and then I'll send the negativity away from me. Some people thrive on others pain, unfortunately.

I'm sorry you were met with
ignorance or worse.

In my opinion, you deal
with negative stuff like that
he same way you deal with
abuse in general. . . . . remove
yourself from the crosshairs.

(And yes, certainly ---- report it,
in a case like you're describing.)

wow.....so sorry you reached out and were met with such gross insensitivity.

some people think their sarcasm, lack of compassion or snotty remarks will surely make you feel better....geeez...
the standard *leave him* is so very true, yet each situation, is not that easy to pack up & go...most of us here, know this.

we just need to remember, we are stronger than them & they are the less fortunate ones, who need to seek out attention with negative behavior. they have their own set of issues they must contend with.

for sure, copy/paste & report it.......then just ignore it!! no one needs that type of trifling nonsense. you got some good replies here (above)!!

wishing you, all the very best on getting in a better place of healing & inner peace!
always in kindness.........aik

Hi Alsea!

On my way out but wanted to reply real quick. I don't have anything very wise to share about this because I myself have yet to learn not to let that kind of negativity get to me. I had a similar experience at a psychopathy/narcissism abuse forum and it took me a long time to take a risk on a forum again, so I understand.

In my personal opinion, a person who attacks someone who posts their story to seek help, is probably in need of more help than all of us together. I wouldn't rule out the possibility that they may be abusive or in the process of becoming abusers themselves.

Please don't listen to them, focus on your own recovery and hopefully they'll find the help they need. Hugs.

I empathize with this very much because before I found this forum, I went on this other forum where I posted for help on abuse, and I got some thoughtless responses. Even when I post something supportive to someone else I get criticized, it's brutal. There are a lot of trolls and cyberbullies out there, it's important to ignore them, they get off on that, the web is an outlet, vent for their tensions. Cyberabusers, that's what we should call them.

That person you are talking about sounds like an abuser to me. Im glad you reported them. That's a very hard hurt to deal with when you are reaching out for help. But they sound sick. That would be my way of trying to deal with it , by looking at them as sick, and maybe punching a few pillows!
I've had similar experiences too on another site where 2 men tried to befriend me and one starting asking lots of questions like "how did you end up in an emotionally abusive relationship? Was it low self esteem? Etc". Quite frankly it set off alarm bells and I blocked him. I thought (maybe erroneously ) that he might be abusive himself, or just plain ignorant.
This other guy then tried to befriend me. He was not in the same forum. I just thought he was like a stalker.
This is the safest forum that I have found.

People really don't understand the dynamics of abusive relationships. The first time I felt truely understood was when I met the domestic violence counsellor. What a relief. Some of my friends get it, other don't. My family are pretty good. Even my counsellor I've seen for : years did not know I was in an abusive relationship!! After meeting the dv counsellor and going my to my regular counsellor in a state of sheer trauma, the both of us cried, because even she was so traumatised at the realisation of what had happened to me.

Thank you guys. I'm very sorry that you have experienced similar things, but I'm glad I'm not the only one out there as well.

Heather said something very interesting... the "just leave him" and "leave / walk / run now I don't know how much more I can say" are not helpful comments. Sure, leaving is the ideal action...but it's a lot harder than someone saying two words and expecting it to change your life... Most of us actually want to leave the situations yet find it very hard and have some problems with it. Everything is not black and white. Emotions confuse things, and for me at least...guilt is a huge part of that. Understanding emotions is a difficult thing. We have many psychologists because of that reason. These posters are not abusive of course, but it's mildly frustrating when people yell at me to leave, and barely take the time to read what I actually posted, or understand the difficulty.

(my feelings on that)

when people say to me 'why don't you just leave?' it actually makes me almost hyperventilate-I'm under enough stress as it is, and it just doesn't help.

I try to remember that they don't know what it's like. So easy to be sitting there in your safe world telling the person to just go.

And that's what I like here-you can tell that there are a lot of wise women here, who have been through it, have felt the pain, and the fear, and would never judge or pressure-since we all know that it doesn't help AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually am getting to point that I hate that. could be PMS talking, and the fact that it's pouring rain outside, my abuser is home for 3 days, and he's in a bit of a rage right now...

but yeah, I hate all of that, and love this place.

Hmm, maybe we should go check out this forum and give you some support. It's so frustrating hearing ppl that have never been through this. SO many ppl think we are un educated, co-dependent stupid ppl who are too afraid to move. They have no idea how hard this is. Sometimes I have to "isolate" myself long enough to heal from what ever they said. Then find a tactful way, hopefully, to let them know they're being dumb. After that it's up to them

Just a bit more of frustration to add from me...the person trolling me was a moderator. I reported the posts earlier and it resulted in more trolling and mockery.

Sometimes people can be so insufferable.

I re-read the posts you ladies have given to this thread and I realize I really do feel safe on here... there is nothing that I can't talk about emotion-wise.

So to all of you who have read or replied or both... thank you :)

The only way to deal with trolls is to ignore them. Feed the troll and you satisfy their needs (to abuse). It's very easy to sit behind a PC monitor and attack others, and is a cowardly pursuit indulged in by bored, unhealthy individuals. Ignore them.