Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
If she goes into the full blown abuse phase again I'm afraid I'll get controlling and threaten to throw her and the children out. I really don't want to do that, I keep hoping she will take her meds again and try to live a normal life.
I know she will not deal with her abusive childhood until she wants to do so and I also know her denial system is so firmly entrenched that it may never happen.
I know she will not deal with her abusive childhood until she wants to do so and I also know her denial system is so firmly entrenched that it may never happen.
That's the point, I don't want to do that. She's working, I'm not, she's using me as a free babysitter and I do most of the housework and she never has a kind word to say about it. We've only been living together since December 1st, I lost my job on the 4th of January. She and one grandchlid moved in, then she added a baby, and then her 19 y o son came to "visit" and he's decided to stay.
All of this wouldn't be so hard to take if she showed even a little bit of appreciation or if she didn't roll her eyes when I ask for hug.
I'm so pathetic I was thrilled that on Thursday evening we had a conversation. She uses the 19 y o as a buffer to keep from communicating with me. She is committing emotional incest with him, he performs all the functions of a husband for her except physical. Much of the time she won't even look at me or respond to anything I say. If I try to call her, she'll hang up.
If we break up the kids will be moved around yet again. She thinks she may be losing her job at the end of March. *sigh* I love her so much but she can't deal with emotions of any kind except anger and fear.
Whose baby is there? Why did you allow her to move the son into your house?
This relationship looks to me like it will go nowhere, except down, and the only way it will end is in an ugly way. You need to get a job, and you can't go looking when you are baby-sitting all day. Put your foot down, and tell her that she will have to hire a sitter for certain days/times, and get yourself out job hunting.
Take charge of your life, and do it today.
The baby is her youngest grandchild and she says we're likely to get the one in the oven in June. She's been trying to get the pregnant daughter to move in here, but for some reason the daughter can't stand me; I don't know where we would put her, anyway.
I have a counseling appointment next week which may or may not be helpful....