When I posted yesterday, I
said that I'd grown up a
stone's throw from Newtown.

In a video clip, I saw an EMS
ambulance with the name of
my current city, on the side.
That's how close to Newtown
I am, today.

What I didn't mention yesterday
is that through the dozen years of
my time in my abusive marriage,
I lived next door to Newtown. I'd
drive through Newtown's Main Street
an average of three times a week. I
didn't shop there much, as everything
was too up-scale for my budget. But
they have a great upholstery outlet
with an enormous selection of fabric,
and a sweet ice cream shop. There's
no way I could ever have affordeed a
stay at the post-card perfect B&B. But
I sometimes met someone at the diner
just off the highway, down the hill from
the famous, in-the-middle-of-the-road
flagpole.

People come there from other places
for the natural beauty, for the New England
quaintness, for the beautiful homes. . . . for
the schools.


The home of the shooter had
FIVE legall purchased and
registered pieces of weaponry,
(owned by his mother). The
arms were SERIOUS weaponry,
typical of what's used by police or
the military.

The shooter began his day
by blowing his mother's
face off.

Then he forced his way into
the elementary school two
miles away (where, CNN
said, his mother may have
volunteered), and killed
six adults and 20 small
children.......before he
killed himself.


My stomach is just beginning
to settle.

And Monday, I predict I will
find myself feeling
VERY ANGRY.

Kaz...my comment about your locale' was in no way meant as a slam on your intelligence.

I was more in thinking about our "revolutionary war", TBH...when i made the comment about a Brit commenting on guns in America.

Just as i made the comment that "americans will never give up their guns" because armaments and drugs are about all our country makes $ on, anymore, and, IMHO, this has all, and is all, being done on purpose for an agenda of others that i won't get into here as it's not the proper forum.

My apologies for typing coming off as "mean" or "snarkier" than ever was intended.

I like you, kaz...tho' very new, & i am being sincere.

Olive branch accepted? Hope so!

After watching the news yesterday about this tragedy, I watched as the shooter's brother was handcuffed and taken in for questioning and then later released. What struck me was the seeming lack of emotion on his brother's face. What I saw, what it looked liike to me was his brother showed an expression of contempt and then for a very brief second i saw a flash of shame go across his face as well as he kept his head lowered while he was being taken away. I suspect that the shooter's brother was the abuser in the family and abused abd bullied his brother relentlessly. And he was obviously under suspicion or else he would not have been taken in and questioned. After seeinf the picture of the shooter I could see total and complete lack of self esteem or self confidence. I believe that abuse by siblings is a lot more common than is known or discussed. And the effects are just as long term and just as damaging as any other kind of abuse if not more so as it is a betrayal of the deepest kind. I speak from experience of being abused by my cousin, growing up with her could be absolute hell at times. If i wouldn't have been such a strong obstinate and forgiving person, as well as someone who seeks knowledge and understanding about abuse and those who abuse,Ii too could have wound up harboring the same internal rage that causes someone who has had a lifetime of abuse and betrayal to act out. Beyond the probability that his brother abused him, who knows about his relationship with his mother. If she shoed favoritism to his brother and always took his side even when he was in the wrong, that in itself is rejection and a betrayal too or the deepest kind. So while gun control or even banning guns may help to prevent tragedies like this, until the circumstances of family or sibling abuse and it's dynamics are brought to light and those that abuse and bully, rather it be a family member or others,stops being praised or seen as acceptable, the inner dynamics and mentality of the victims will continue to create more victims, rather it be with guns or machetes or bombs or poison or whatever form of revenge they choose.

And as far as the mother owning so many weapons, maybe the one she was afraid of was the surviving brother or possibly and ex husband or bf or some other abusive family member or it's even possible that she simply enjoyed collecting guns, as hard as that is for me to understand because I don't like guns.
And as far as banning guns in America...the government tried banning alcohol and you know the result of that...a fortune was made though rum running and speakeasies and the black market as I suspect would happen if guns are completely banned. Those who really really want them, will find a way to get them or those who are psychotic will simply find another method.
Imo bullying and publically shaming and humiliating someone needs to be illegal and the laws that are already on the books need to be enforced.
And schools are not always positive environments where those who need help get it or are "diagnosed." in fact schools are very often places where those who bully and shame thrive and are praised and encouraged to continue by their peers and even some teachers. Medicating akid who continues to be abused at home and/or bullied at school is not fixing the problem.

"...................and, IMHO, this has all, and is all, being done on purpose for an agenda of others that i won't get into here as it's not the proper forum."
I know what you are referring to here and there is does seem to be a pattern so it gives imo what you are talking about here some weight and validity but there is also the possibility that because of the extensive and constantly repeated news coverage on stories like this that could also explain why these incidents keep occuring, however if notoriety were the desired goal of the shooter, then he would not have committed suicide so that eliminates that as his motive, imo.

I don't know about anyone else but since hearing about and watching this tragedy I am having a hard time enjoying Christmas or not feeling guilty if I begin to feel enjoyment. Anyone else?

Hockymom well said, my thoughts exactly

Reeling, no offense taken, just wondered what u meant, I still stand by my thoughts regardless of all the issues not to do something about gun laws but as all of us know, sometimes more often than not you have to take a stand before the change will come!

Learned, why is it that so many people read the words "gun control" and see the word "prohibition"? I don't think it will ever be on the agenda to ban all guns entirely.

That said, I also firmly agree that the underlying causes ALSO need to be seriously addressed, that much more needs to be done (and not only in USA) to identify and help the most vulnerable in society, no matter what the reason for their vulnerability.

thank you very much for accepting that i meant no harm, kaz...the last thing i want to do is cause any for anyone.

& i understand where you're coming from. I would love to live in a world where there were no guns, or criminals, or criminals with guns, but as long as that's the reality, i don't see folks disarming voluntarily.

I'm in WI, a state where hunting is HUGE! Guns are a big deal. I'm sure that colors my perceptions. I could have 1000 guns, but i would never voluntarily aim one at another human being unless it was to save a life...mine or anothers.

If someone in that office/school had a gun, mebbe this shooter would have had a lower kill count.

Remember, we had the shooting up of the church, the sikh temple, and the beauty salon in the span of a year, and over 300 homicides on our streets, that we're told of. This is a BIG problem.

Apparently, only law abiding folk respect the "soft zones" of schools, hospitals, theatres, churchs. etc. The places where legal guns are banned are the places gettin' hit.

I, too, wish none of this was an issue. My heart has been breaking for all of those poor families and communities, and now i am sad for all of us, as, as written prior, it is hard to enjoy "holiday prep." around me when so many are so sad.

{{hugz}}

I am so sorry for your closeness to the horrible situation, Ilene.
It must be so hard and even harder to see that ambulance go by you. I am sending healing thoughts and hope you do feel better by Monday. Thank you for all you do here.
Sending a ton of support and millions of hugs!!!!!!

There are many sick individuals out there and I think the media makes more things like this happen too. They ran away with bad info right away naming his brother not him as the shooter. first they said there were two gunman then it was one. I think the media gives more people ideas to do things like this. sick people hear about this next thing you know another school shooting. It creates an epidemic! I pray for all those hurt by this young mans actions his family left behind, all the kids and their families just because they went to school. Teachers who died to save children God Keep them!! R.I.P. all who died yesterday!

I agree radrm that the media now reports rumors versus actual facts. It used to be that when I was growing up reporting rumors or even expressing perosnal opinions on the news was not allowed and if it occured it was looked down on, now it's hard to know if what is being reported is accurate or hearsay.
I too heard that the shooter had killed his father as well as his mother. That was untrue as his father made a staement to the press expressing his condolences to the families. I didn't hear that the police initially thought his brother was the shooter until yesterday but i/ know they had arrested him and taken him in for questioning and later released him. i still believe he played some roll in his brother's actions. I still think his brother was the abuser, but that is just my opinion and my theory and i'm not a reporter broadcasting my personal beliefs to the world and I have made it clear that my beliefs are mine and not facts whereas when a reporter states an opinion WITHOUT qualifying it as their own personal belief then it comes across as fact and is very shoddy and poor journalism. And I think you are right the mass media attention does encourage copy cats and that does make sense for those who want nototiety but as in this case when they commit suicide that doesn't fit.

I have a crazy sib that I do not associate with any longer. She threatened to Overdose my mother during her battle with cancer unless i left and never came back again to see my mother. She wanted mom to change her will to write me out.
What was I to do other than leave to protect my mom?

Wait till she finds out that dad spent all the money!@

What makes you think she won't do it anyway? To hasten her inheritance or at least what she thinks she is getting? Just rhetorical questions here..........
Your leaving isn't insuring her safety imo.