Because so many of you have been supportive of me during my anxiety before my abusive brother's visit before Christmas, I thought I would share a little of all that he said and did while we was visiting our home. (It's long so I apologize, but oh so cathartic...)

Upon arrival, he said our house is like a "meth addict's house," he kept complaining of it smelling "too strong" (we had candles going because my puppy sometimes has accidents). My puppy has long been a victim of his scapegoating and he often calls her "that shitty dog." In continuing the pattern since her diagnosis, he made fun of my mom's diabetes a couple times and expressed his "concern" that she was "definitely going to die" because of it, despite our assurances that her doctor gave her a clean bill of health. While we were looking at old family photos, he saw one of my mom when she was young and he thought she was very attractive, but then he looked over to her and said "age is such a terrible curse," and about me is said "Katherine was such a photogenic child, but now...oh well." When we had a discussion about mental illness (of which I obviously suffer and he belittles) he complained of my "flaws in logic" and "over-generalization." He said he didn't want to get me the book I asked for about altruism because it "looked stupid." (Ironic.) Because our puppy has accidents sometimes in the night I overhead him say to his girlfriend the next morning "I don't want to go out there, the place is probably covered in shit." He even made fun of his girlfriend's appearance about her "big nose," "swamp lady hands," "big feet," and "weird head." (She found it hilarious!)

After mom defended herself against something he said, he played victim, turned to his girlfriend, and said, "Do you see how they treat me?!" After I asked him how they've been doing since seeing them last, he said, "Oh, you're asking how we are. Very good Katherine. That's how humans talk to one another." (He's always said I'm incredibly socially awkward, which makes me more socially anxious.) On Christmas morning, I apologized for not saying goodnight when they got back from a friend's house because I already went to bed and he said, "No it's fine, we didn't want to see you anyway." During one of the tangents where he was spouting off about the house, we said we worked our asses off getting it ready for his visit and he looked around and asked, "You did?" Obviously, he withheld approval or appreciation of our accommodating him and his girlfriend. Whenever we ate together, he criticized how much we ate, what we ate, and for my (I shit you not) drinking milk. While preparing the food, he repeatedly kept hitting me in the face with an oven mitt and when I got annoyed, he acted like I was completely unstable and the one with anger issues, by yelling "Whoa, Katherine! Calm down! Control yourself!" When I was smiling at one point, he looked at me and asked "Are your eyes even open right now?!" (He's always mocked my "squinty eyes" which makes me more insecure.) When he first saw me, he said "Here's an idea Katherine, why don't you put on normal pants?" (I was wearing tracksuit pants.) He told my mom she was the "weirdest fucking person," while opening presents and he mocked the gifts I received such a feminist book about living a fulfilling life as a single woman by saying, "you're so ridiculous." He also criticized how many books I asked for and for drinking too much tea. (No such thing in my opinion.)

With his girlfriend there, his hypocricy and disengenuous behavior was in full swing which drove me crazy. He usually treats our dogs horribly but was quite nice to them with his girlfriend around. However, our puppy is absolutely petrified of him and our cat is always more vicious when he's around. (It's quite amusing because my cat will always attack him, haha!) I think they can definitely sense it. Finally, before they left, he shamed us for never coming up to visit him and put pressure on us to go see him soon. (Gee, I wonder why we never want to!) You must keep in mind that this was a very successful visit. A lot of his statements were disguised as jokes, whereas they're usually much more malicious in delivery and motive. His girlfriend was lovely as always, but bless her, she has no clue what a complete dick he is. Also, keep in mind this was during a 24-hour visit! So, yes, all of this was said (and this isn't even all of it) in that short amount of time. Anyway, I'm glad it's over but we'll just have to go through all of this again when the next major holiday rolls around. :( Thanks for reading and your support!