Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Cannot wait for this to be over

aral2003
aral2003
Just like every other month my stbx gave me a hard time about paying his share of the mortgage this month even though he is legally required to pay it. Today he told me that if I did not give him a ladder (which he did not want in the separation agreement) then he was going to stop paying the mortgage and the payment would not be made next week. I refused to give him He went on a rant about how I had gotten everything and had manipulated him into signed the agreement. Then within an hour he showed me he put the money in the bank for the mortgage and started crying about how he still loves me and is just so hurt bc I wouldnt allow us to work things out.

I am so glad this house is on the market and that the final tie will be cut once it is sold. I cannot go through this dance every month and keep my sanity.
cant74deal
cant74deal
I went through a similar dance with my daughter every week. For the first couple years of my divorce, my ex gave me a hard time every time my daughter went from his house to my house-then it lessened but continued. He told me she didn't want to come, he told me I was a terrible mom for a dozen reasons and he didn't want his daughter around that, he told me she couldn't see her friends when she was at my house (which was untrue-I always took her to her friends houses or brought them here), blah, blah, blah. When I responded that I was following our divorce degree and there was nothing to discuss he'd hit the roof and talk about how horrible I was in other ways, everything I'd "done" to him-basically just bully me and attack me, guilt me, all that fun stuff. "I love you, I hate you." Like I want to go back to that. Let you punish me for the rest of my life. No Thanks!

Now my daughter is 18. I don't ever have to talk to him again if I don't want to (which of course I don't). It is lovely. Non Contact is a wonderful thing. You'll get there!!! I'm sorry you're going through that.
MendingToday
MendingToday
Wow your strong girl, hold on, it's almost over. I hope. Good for you standing your ground. Your wise to believe that this dance will go on every month. It seems that way doesn't it.

I know this is hard but in time you will see, the other side of that good life your going to have when he is completely out of it. Not to mention do all the things you want to do, without the input of such a controlling jerk.

Good luck.
Audarah
Audarah
He will continue this behavior for as long as he can, even years after the divorce if there are kids involved. The next time he threatens not to pay it for any absurb reason whatsoever, file contempt and keep proof of what he said just dont say anything back to him at all and file.
aral2003
aral2003
Thank god there are no kids between us!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, thank God there are no children in the mix. Once you ties are severed, you will have NOTHING to do with him. :)
cant74deal
cant74deal
Yes, thank God for small favors. Children with that man would be hell and the child would pay the ultimate price. You are strong, you can get through this and you'll FEEL a HUGE difference once his toxicity is not infecting you anymore. He'll just continue to be a miserable SOB.