Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So if a Passive Aggressive Man just makes you enraged by blaming you for his horrible behavior, and then points out how your the crazy one cause your pissed. Then, is being pissed and detaching from his painful behavior the same as when he is mad at you and he withholds?
Its an act.
The only thing he doesn't understand is why he has to take responsibility for his own actions. Especially when he works *so hard* to avoid it.
They know we hurt, but they do not have the empathy to feel or care about it. I meant to use the "not knowing" in a purely factual way to cover knowledge of a feeling which, lacking empathy, they cannot have. This is not the innocent state of ignorance they would have us believe it is, and I certainly would not ever try to minimise an abuser's behaviour by using the idea of not knowing in a pitying sense.
Empathy is a huge part of what makes us human, and in its absence, it's obvious what a person could become then. A very dangerous, hurtful being, at the very least.
There is no excuse for their behaviour, and I did not mean to imply anywhere in my post that there is. It's true, they work so hard to defend and cover up their actions precisely because they do know they are wrong. They just can never actually feel the true depth of the emotional devastation they are causing us for what it is, from OUR perspective.
And the few moments of clarity they have when trying to keep you hanging around? They know they've done wrong, or they wouldn't be capable of finding the words we want to hear. But will they do that un-cool thing again? Yeah, a lot of the time they will. And the following times they may get back to the excuses and do away with the apologies. That's the proof I have that they simply don't care about our feelings; they only care that they maintain they're exempt from "punishment" for their wrongs.