Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
A post was brought up on the difference between love and obsession and it got me thinking. Perhaps I am not really different from my abusers in that I tend to obsess about them after the relationship is over whereas they do it during the beginning stages. I absolutely hate this about myself as it tears me down. I find myself wondering WHY? What If? It just gets my self esteem down lower and questioning every move I made. Maybe I was the toxic one all along.?
Well as a very wise person once blatantly told me, I won't find it "out there." So I look inward, to my strength and survival and resourcefullness and my incredible obstinance to refuse to fold or just lay down and die a thousand deaths from abuse. I derive my self worth from my higher power, knowing I have a long way to go but I know I am a good work in progress.
"Is it conditional?"
It used to be dependent on others approval and agreement. Not any more. That has changed. Somehow I have managed to go from external locus to inner locus.
And yes there are limits to how much abuse someone can continue to tolerate. But that is a choice too. Only true captives don't have the power of choice.
and for the record i have never found abusive power to be an aphrodesiac. I find abusive power repulsive and repelling.