I remember my parents opening each others mail and they didn't care because when you're married you share everything. I don't think it is any different opening an email then opening regular mail. Besides, what person who is married is going to want there partner charged with any type of offense unless they have been physically abused. Even then some people wouldn't want to press charges and see their spouse in jail or prison or have to pay charges that they can't afford. Most would rather have their money go for more important things. But seriously, this women must not love her husband and probably was cheating and that is why she is allowing him to go through all that crap.

Women like her make me angry. I feel sorry for her husband.

I haven't weighed in here, because I'm not able to discern the right and wrong of this situation.

I do think that accessing someone else's email crosses a line. That email like regular mail should be protected.

Past that, let's face it. If you are in an abusive relationship, you are going to do what you have to do to save your life, and while I would advocate staying within the law, legally and/or morally, I would even more strongly advocate doing whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe, and sane.....

In an extreme case, people have killed their abuser. They knew it was illegal, but it was the only choice they were left. In contrast, checking your ex's email seems mild, and I really believe, within a good marriage, no one would have anything to hide. But a marriage to an abuser is never good, they often have something hiding. I had access to my ex's email for 2 years after I left, (he was too entitled to think of changing the password....or too drunk), but I didn't find anything there ever. Except some forwarded emails from me to my son when my son lived with him and wasn't talking to me. So he obviously accessed that and sent them to himself. I forwarded them to myself and deleted them from his account. I didn't think they were any of his business. And ask me if I feel bad...NO. NOT A BIT.

I think, legally, that email should be protected. However, if it was, and if I was in a situation where I felt that the information in that email could help me, would I break that law, and save myself, and deal with the fall out from that action when it was discovered?

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

I think that any laws protecting email, would have to have very many levels intent.

I think Hockeymom hit the nail on the head. I know for myself, I am to the point of imagining myself do, within limits of the law of course, things I would never do otherwise, in an effort to protect myself, and get away. If that means opening his mail, or pulling his credit report (because he's a financial abuser, as well) to see what's going on, I'll do it. We're married, so I seriously doubt if such an action is a violation of the law. Heck, employers do it all the time. However, would it be a violation of trust in our marriage? Yep! Do I care? Nope!

I think there's a couple of assumptions going on here, and that's what leads to such lively discussion. One, we're assuming one or the other is an abuser; Two, we're assuming one or the other has something to hide (an affair perhaps); and Three, privileges and rights afforded to us under the law regarding mail and privacy.

With that said, in the final analysis what the law says is final, and there will likely be little emotion on the part of the judge involved. In the area of technology, this is unchartered territory, so what the final say here could set a precedent regarding privacy issues, married or not.

Separating these things out, I think, lowers the intensity of emotion in this with regards to us - abuse victims. With that said, it is interesting to see the perspective of everyone here based on their experiences. It is a fascinating moral dilemma, and I can't wait to hear the final outcome.