Unfortunately I had 2 children with my abuser so I am stuck having some contact with him through my kids. He was awarded "reasonable visitation" after he completed anger management and NA (15 years ago) but I tried to not let him have them for more than a day. The one time he had them for a week, when I picked them up I drove directly from his house to my son's doctor because he hadn't bathed or even changed his socks for the whole week. He also had a 1.5 inch long laceration on his arm that should have had stitches. Turns out he stuck a bandaid on it and never even bothered to look at it again. I had the doctor document his condition and called CPS and had any overnights curtailed. So over the years his contact with them became less and less, when he had enough money to support his meth habit he would completely disappear for months at a time. We wouldn't have an address or phone number for him..... then out of the blue he would show up angry with me because "I had been keeping his kids from him". I'm getting off track but I'm mad right now. When I moved out of state his contact with them almost ceased completely. I made sure they kids sent cards for X-mas, his birthday, father's day... but they got nothing in return. Every now and then he would call and cry and be mad at them for not loving him but he never put in any effort to maintain contact..... even going so far as to say he couldn't come up with 40 cents for a stamp to send a letter. He is now disabled due to damage to his heart from 30 years of meth abuse and he is living with his son from his first marriage. My daughter just had an argument with her SIL because SIL says it is her turn to take care of him and my daughter said no, she has no obligation to care for him when he was never a father to her. SIL is pissed and says family comes first no matter what you take care of eachother. Easy for her to say when she was never abused or neglected by him. A couple of years ago my daughter was out there visiting and had a heat to heart with him... or rather a heart to brick wall..... she poured out her heart and told him she loves him and she wants to get to know him and he said nothing then walked away. My oldest will respond when he sends him a note on mysoace but it is clear in the notes that Dennis wants nothing to do with my son.... only wants him to get my youngest son to contact him... still my son is polite. My youngest refuses to speak to him and even though he and I have taken flak from many members of Dennis' family for taking this stance, even my own mother thinks I should force my son to contact him. He just sent a letter to my kids saying "Fine, I give up, if you don't want to contact me fine. You know where to find me if you want to". Thing is they HAVE been talkign to him, at least the two older ones have and my daughter has tried really hard to build some sort of relationship with him..... she just won't let him come here and live off her.

I guess I should be grateful that this is all I have to put up with but I am sick of his repeatedly hurting my kids because of his own selfish twisted perceptions. What right does he have to be angry and yell at them for not sending anything for his birthday when he hasn't so much as called them in 2 years! Where does he get off crying to them that they don't love him and trying to make them feel bad because he feels slighted!

Thanks I just needed to vent. I will now hope for a long hiatus from him.... except that I know I'll hear from the SIL about how mean I am to him for not offering to take him in and care for him..... Her I can handle by just not answering the phone.