All positive thoughts to you Joanie you deserve to have happiness in your life. You don't need to have somebody that cheats Or treats you badly. Once you feel stronger and about yourself, you will attract better people. There are men out there who are accepting of women who have horrible pasts, and are willing to work with us to overcome and persevere. You need time to heal right now and take care of yourself. Don't worry about having a man, worry about taking care of yourself.
I'm sending healing, positive energy to you.

Hi Joanie,
I am sending you love and support! :) There are other men who will love and accept you- all of you, for who you are. You are not your past, nor your abuse... You are glorious YOU!!!

Hugs to you, Joanie! :)

Joanie, there's no shame attached to you because of your past. That shame belongs to the people who didn't treat you well. They may be too stupid to realise they should be ashamed but that's no reason for you to take it on.

And anyone who thinks it's you who should be ashamed isn't good enough for you.

Thank you all for the very kind words and awesome support. It truly means a lot.

Oh hun..no way should you settle for that! I agree with Life, there is no shame in you for your past. You are an amazing person to have the courage, strength and will power to get away. That says you love yourself enough to now it was wrong and you deserve better.

Our abusers have torn us down to gain power over us and to manipulate us. You were strong enough to leave you are s trong enough to stay away!

Sending thoughts prayers hugs and loads of support!!

Thank you Mom3, typing on phone so hope I got close there. I was just thinking about you as tommorrow is the day for the movers to get your things right? Hoping your doing ok and once you have your things, you will feel a little more settled.

Yeah..tomorrow is the day. *Sigh* I'm a wreck!

I am sorry your a wreck. I wish I knew the words to say to make you feel better. :( Just know people care and you are a wonderful person who deserves to be treated well and be happy. I hope tommorrow goes as smoothly as possible. Big hugs.

Hi Joanie,
There is no shameful part of you. You never asked for what happened to you. I am so sorry you feel this way and hope you and your therapist can work on this.
You will meet someone who will really care for you and not just use you. Please have patients, it takes a while, but the wait will be worth it. As everyone says, you have to heal yourself before you get into a meaningful relationship.
I wish you the very best and hope things will start to improve for you.
Keep practicing lots and lots of self care.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Joanie.... Stay strong honey!!! We are all here for you. You deserve better then a life of abuse!!! You will find someone when the time is right that will take care of you and treat you the way you want/deserve.

Sending strength and encouragement your way!!!! Anytime you are sad or lonely come here and post. We will all lift you up!

Sending lots of hugs too!!!

Thanks so much for the faith in me and the support here. Trying to hang on.

You can do this Joanie, we are here for you too!!!! =)

I hope you feel better soon! Counseling worked well with my, and codependence training, to get rid of those types of thoughts. I learned to shift focus back on my own life and just not worry so much about what others think- if that helps... are you in counseling? Either way please keep talking!

That's what I feel this is..a Co dependence of some sort. Up at 4:00 am after a dream about him. It's messed up that he is more in my mind now than when we were together actually or we broke up the second time. Like there is unfinished stuff? I hate this. Oh and therapy fell by the wayside until I can get back on schedule due to work commitments. I honestly wish someone could just hypnotize me to stop obsessing about him and the memories. Thanks for listening...

Keep posting, keeping posting. We are all here for you no matter how many times you need to post. We are here to give you strength and encouragement.

I know if it so much easier said then done but everytime I start to panic or think "what if", etc. etc. I start praying, sincerely praying for guidance, strength, clarity, courage, acceptance. I pray over and over this same prayer and it is helping. Remember, god won't give you more then you can handle.

The other thing that has helped me is to not think beyond the "now" and it allows me not to think too much into the future about all my fears.

Stay strong Joanie!!!!