I have been picking up as many shifts as I can just to be away from him. I feel so uncomfortable in this house with him and his mom. I use to think his mom was nice untill I noticed things here and there and seeing her true colors come out. Now I feel alone more then ever. I feel like I'm in a stranger's home. It's the worse feeling in the world.

Its hard to respond w/o more info, so i looked at your previous posts in the BU&D group. It's very good that you are not married. BUT, if you have joint accounts or other assets together of any kind, you need get an attorney to help you disentangle yourself from him financially.

You also need to go to your nearest shelter and ask them to help you create a SAFE plan to leave. Leaving is THE most dangerous time. For example: NEVER leave when he is present. ALWAYS have someone w/you when you leave. It can be a shelter representative or some big strong guy. Abusers are less likely to get physical when there is a witness.

The shelter should be able to refer you to attorneys who understand the dynamics and effects of abuse. The attorney can handle your divorce and any communication w/this guy and his mother. Once you leave it will be imperative that you go and stay Total No Contact.

You also need to find a qualified trauma release therapist who understands the dynamics and effects of abuse. (sadly many therapists don't have a clue)

You said in your BU&D post, "I refuse to go back home without a job and just sad at home thinking about everything, jobless with nothing but time on my hands."

Sometimes that's not such a bad thing. You need time to heal. Many women's shelters offer job referral service, free support groups, referrals to therapists and/or attorneys. Take advantage of that. If that was your pride talking, explain to it that you are in danger mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. There is no shame in getting out, job or not. Staying one second longer isn't worth it. The damage done from abuse is long lasting, so the sooner you can leave, the better.

Please stay safe and whatever you do, do NOT tell him, his mom or anyone else who knows him that you're even thinking about leaving.

You deserve to live an abuse free life.

I finally let my job know exactly what's going on. I was embarrassed and scared but, now I feel some relief that it's out in the open. My manager is an asshole so he showed no sympathy but, my assistant manager was at least acting like a human being to me. I guess that's retail for you. I finally told my dad what was going on. He helped me book a flight home but, I have to pay him back of course. I leave this Saturday. I'm so scared and nervous and sad at the emotional drive I'm going to have to the airport with my soon to be ex...I do love him but, I have to lover myself first. I'm still praying for the courage. I will get on that plane. ...thank you for your response. I will also be going to get some kind of therapy after this.

Ur inside knows what best for you. It is hard to leave an abuser. It is hard to get up and run for your life. But you have that strength. U will find it. Be safe

Thank you for the kind encouraging words. I have my bad days but, I feel a little stronger.