Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been mostly sexually abused my whole life. I had started cutting myself and attempting suicide and along the way was placed in foster care and then in a residential treatment facilility. The facility is known as Foundations For Living. In FFL they do restrain kids who become out of control or try to harm themselves or others. While in FFL is was very common for me to become out of control and try to harm myself. Usually I attempted to cut myself with something I turned into a self-harm tool. My first restraint wasnt awful. I was held against a wall, then taken to the floor when I wasnt cooperating. They kick your feet out and lay you flat on your back and have one person on each arm, one or two people hold the legs and sometimes someone sits at your head to make sure you dont bang it. As time went on I just got worse and worse. The doctors just kept trying to drug me till I was unable to feel. But, I was so out of control I was being restrained multiple times a day. What was once a gentle, trying to keep you safe thing, turned into grabbing me and throwing me onto the ground. Shoving my face into the wall. Twisting my wrists and fingers. Most days they slammed me onto the ground and would hold my arms to tight that they turned purple from lack of oxygen. One time I was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a concussion from my head being banged against a door while they were trying to take me to the floor to restrain me. My whole body constantly had bruises on my elbows, knees, head, and my shoulder blades. I was once restrained for over 2 hours at once. They told me the rule was that after an hour they had to let me go, but only for like 2 seconds and then they could wrap me back up. In this restraint, I was sitting on my bottom with my legs flat, between the woman who was restraining me's legs while she held my arms behind my back. Which was the hold they commonly used on pregnant girls. After she let me go my arms were locked behind my back and took a while before I could put them back in front of me. In most instances, they never tried to talk me down. It wasnt, "Whats wrong? How can I help to make you feel safe?" I was just instantly restrained. Multiple times my chest was crushed to the point where I couldnt breathe. It was very clear that I wasnt supposed to be restrained by male staff, but was never followed. After completing the program, I was released to a group home. To this day I still have nightmares of being thrown into a restraint. The restraint types they used were called HWC's. Like im saying. Im not sure if im in the right place, but I would really love some feedback to know that im not completely crazy for feeling as hurt and damaged as I do...
You're in the right place.
Was the facility you described
in Ohio?
Regardless, you might want
to take a look at this article:
http://medillwatchdog.org/blog/2014/12/07/harsh-treament-violent-incidents-bedevil-ohio-facility/
Are you getting any treatment
at this time?
If not, I certainly urge you
to pursue finding qualified
therapy or counseling for
the issues that were present
before you were in FFL or
for the PTSD that's evolved
from your "treatment" there.
Staff at facilities are
entitled to be safe
at work but they are
also responsible for
keeping and providing
safety for patients.
"HWC" means
Handle with CARE!
You were being injured
when you needed safety
and well-being. This was
wrong. Now's the time
to try to repair the damage
from that time and from
the issues that took you
there in the first place.
spiritual beliefs, responding
to a poster in such obvious
pain with something as
unhelpful as blaming the
person for what happened
or may happen to them them
in the future is outrageously
unsupportive. I was appalled
to read something like this in
a forum dedicated to support
and encouragement. If these
are your beliefs, you're certainly
entitled to hold them. You're
NOT entitled to publish them
in a forum of this nature, where
we're here to encourage and
provide compassion and
suggestions of how to heal
and recover.
darebearsworld. . . . . . . .
please know that what
you've suffered at the hands
of abusers is not because
you've done anything wrong,
either in this life or any
previous one, if that's you
belief. Victims are not victimized
because of anything we do or
have done wrong. Abusers
choose victims because
abusers are psychologically
and emotionally damaged,
and they're on the hunt for
someone who may be less
likely or less able to fight
off their abuse.
We're here in this community
to help each other, if we can ---
not to trigger someone who's
already in pain and has come
looking for support.
Much love and peace for healing.
My second reply here was
responding to a poster who
very viciously attacked and
blamed darebearsworld for
the abuse they suffered. I
brought the response to
the attention of DS and
apparently they agreed,
since they subsequently
removed that reply. I'm
very glad that D.S. deleted
that response, and I can
understand the confusion
about what I wrote, since
the response is no longer
on the board.
Of course ---- this is a place
to talk about what bothers us
and about what's happened
to us. I've been a member
here for nearly nine years
and have brought people
to participate in this forum
because I believe in its
value and benefit to
those in pain and trying
to heal and recover.