Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Well, let me see if i can paint a good enough picture here, on both sides of the story, an then last night.
So, back in July, my roommate went completely mental, and i was left trying to hold up the complete rent on my own, and i could not afford it. My parents had offered to help me back on my feet, so i took them up on it, and decided i was going to move to NE(from CT). But it took me a few days to get up the courage to tell my S/O... those of you that have been here a while, know of the problems that we had where she was starting to become an abuser. Well, on a sub-note, she has been getting extensive therapy, as i will now too(for other reasons of course) since my disability rating finally came through with the VA. But, back to topic. Well, she did not take the news well, there was much crying on both of our parts, and pleading on hers, but i was out of options at that point, my landlord was crazy, my room-mate had gone completely mental, and my situation was no longer sustainable. And i could not(i mean that, i can't) ask my g/f for rent or anything like that, because i need to not do that because that would be using her.
Well, long story short, we decided that i am going to be moving out here, and when her lease is up, she wil be moving out here while i am going to school,and after graduation(2-3 more years), we will then see about where we want to move and start a permanent life.
Well, it turns out that she has had a problem trusting me since then, and has been periodically checking my DS postings, to try and see if i had any problems going on that i wasn't telling her about. well, she told me last night what she was doing. I did not ask her if she was doing that, i didn't suspect it at all.
I am glad that she confessed to me, and btw, she has promised that if she is not coming here for support herself, that she will no longer spy on me. .. but yeah, so my quandary is this. She is having trouble trusting me. I now have a reason to not trust her... and we are laf a continent apart... this sucks.
So, back in July, my roommate went completely mental, and i was left trying to hold up the complete rent on my own, and i could not afford it. My parents had offered to help me back on my feet, so i took them up on it, and decided i was going to move to NE(from CT). But it took me a few days to get up the courage to tell my S/O... those of you that have been here a while, know of the problems that we had where she was starting to become an abuser. Well, on a sub-note, she has been getting extensive therapy, as i will now too(for other reasons of course) since my disability rating finally came through with the VA. But, back to topic. Well, she did not take the news well, there was much crying on both of our parts, and pleading on hers, but i was out of options at that point, my landlord was crazy, my room-mate had gone completely mental, and my situation was no longer sustainable. And i could not(i mean that, i can't) ask my g/f for rent or anything like that, because i need to not do that because that would be using her.
Well, long story short, we decided that i am going to be moving out here, and when her lease is up, she wil be moving out here while i am going to school,and after graduation(2-3 more years), we will then see about where we want to move and start a permanent life.
Well, it turns out that she has had a problem trusting me since then, and has been periodically checking my DS postings, to try and see if i had any problems going on that i wasn't telling her about. well, she told me last night what she was doing. I did not ask her if she was doing that, i didn't suspect it at all.
I am glad that she confessed to me, and btw, she has promised that if she is not coming here for support herself, that she will no longer spy on me. .. but yeah, so my quandary is this. She is having trouble trusting me. I now have a reason to not trust her... and we are laf a continent apart... this sucks.
Yes it sucks and it sucks on many levels. Just what is it that she doesn't trust you about? You were upfront and honest about your disability, about your need to move, about your financial situation. Yes it took some time to get up the courage to say something about it but it's a might big and, I might add, mighty *personal* decision. And then she decides to start spying on you as a way to promote....what? So far the only thing I can come up with is that she was promoting her own power and control and that smacks of previous bahavior.
When the trust is gone...how do you build on that relationship? Some baggage is normal but then there is a point when you gotta ask youself, how many trucks of baggage can you continue carrying?
It seems to me that you have had enough going on, and she should be more supportive, instead of handing you new problems to deal with.