Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
so yesterday i wrote my fiance a letter telling him what i am going through right now but that i didnt want him to worry about my problems because he is stressed out about his sick brother. his reply was that he couldnt deal with my problems right now. i told him i wasnt asking him to.
Today i got a job offer and he didnt think it was good enough and called it ridiculous and i felt bad because I already accepted it and its the most i ever made and its good for right now. i know i can always move up. well i said thank u mr. negative i feel bad now and he starts yelln at me.
I told him to stop yelling at me or i cant have a convo like this and he is telling me no no i have an opinion to and u shouldnt be so sensitive, its not my fault ur sensitive and think everything is about you or its a personal attack on u.
sometimes i just wana scream. Here i am a single mother, go to school full time, work full time, trying to deal with my problems and support him through this time but im selfish?????? He told me he couldnt deal with my problems!!!! i had a panic attack today thinking about all the work i have to do, all the assignments i have to turn in back to back with no time to breath. thats just what happened, i couldnt breath. now when i come home and say im stressed, he acts like its nothing like because my sibling isnt sick i cant be stressed.
Today i got a job offer and he didnt think it was good enough and called it ridiculous and i felt bad because I already accepted it and its the most i ever made and its good for right now. i know i can always move up. well i said thank u mr. negative i feel bad now and he starts yelln at me.
I told him to stop yelling at me or i cant have a convo like this and he is telling me no no i have an opinion to and u shouldnt be so sensitive, its not my fault ur sensitive and think everything is about you or its a personal attack on u.
sometimes i just wana scream. Here i am a single mother, go to school full time, work full time, trying to deal with my problems and support him through this time but im selfish?????? He told me he couldnt deal with my problems!!!! i had a panic attack today thinking about all the work i have to do, all the assignments i have to turn in back to back with no time to breath. thats just what happened, i couldnt breath. now when i come home and say im stressed, he acts like its nothing like because my sibling isnt sick i cant be stressed.
I don't think that people should ideally yell at eachother, but it does happen and people do still choose to have a relationship. I'm not going to challenge why you stay with him or plan to marry him, because your decisions are just that.
One thing I have learned about men is this. When you share a problem, they feel pressure to then 'deal with' (or solve) the problem. They don't understand venting the way women do. We are an enigma to many of them because of this. And, likewise, they are a frustration to us because they can't seem to just listen and lend a supportive ear. If he is under great emotional stress with his sibling situation, it doesn't make his bad reactions ok, but it might make them at least a little understandable. Its up to you to determine if this is his typical means of handling things, or if the extreme situation might be cause for you to grant him a little grace.
Now you might not like this, and I'm not asking you to answer it here, to me or anyone other than yourself... but... when he says (albeit with an unacceptable tone which I am not excusing) that you are too sensitive and take everything to be about you or to be a personal attack on you.... is there ANY truth to it?
It doesn't make it ok to present the way he did, but you could still stand to benefit from examining yourself objectively as it relates to what he said. I have found that removing myself from the emotional response of how something was said and getting to examining what truth might be in the content has only helped me grow.
Even if someone throws poop at you, you can choose to use it as fertilizer.
Well done you for all you have achieved in your life. Now go get yourself a good partner who is nothing like what this jackass is like.
I do examine my self and I am a sensitive person, but he knew that and he shouldn't treat me like that if he knows im sensitive. Just like I wouldnt go de-da-de to a mentally challenged person.
I do not take everything as an attack, actually he is the one always yelling about something my mom said that he feels she is "accusing him" of things when she isnt.