Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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needafriendplease 05/02/2016

Hello everyone. Posted on here recently that my life on track . After coming through all the abuse. I've met a wonderful man and we have been seeing each other for over a year. My family all like him. But my dad won't even meet him. He doesn't want to. I have never been able to please my dad throughout my life. I love him but he has never loved me back. I've always had to tread on eggshells with him and so has my brother. Always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Now my brother is getting married in August and has invited me and my guy but my dad is making my brother choose between him and my guy to go to the wedding. My dad has said if he goes then he will walk out.
I'm upset over this as my new man is a lovely person and my dad is not being fair . My brother has said he has to choose my dad. I feel I don't want to go to the wedding now. As my dad has no right to control my life and upset the wedding. My grown up children are all going and my grandchildren and they all like my guy. He has supported me and helped me through so much and after years of abuse by my ex husband I feel I deserve happiness. Why should my dad at my age dictate my life. It will upset my brother if I don't go to the wedding but my brother should not bow down to my dad and his rules. All our lives we have had this with my dad and we have obeyed him. I've had enough.

needafriendplease 05/06/2016

The wedding is in August.
I agree I will get the blame no matter what. I have never answered my dad back . Always taken it . All my life. I'm 50 now and it's sad that he can't just love me back. I've tried so hard but am made to feel like I'm not good enough. I have to keep my blood pressure down as I have an ascending aorta of the heart and been told no stress or the aneurysm could burst. They have also found a nodule on my lung which I'm waiting to have analysed . But even something like this hasn't made my dad think differently. I think I need to concentrate on myself and my boyfriend who has supported me. And my children also. I am afraid to confront my dad as he has a temper and I remember the black eye he gave me when I was 17. For coming home late which wasn't my fault. I wasn't allowed to explain. I've never forgotten . And the hidings I would have over nothing of my mother. No wonder I grew up messed up and choose the wrong people. Like my ex husband .

patti22 05/06/2016

Are you still seeing your dad twice a week?

needafriendplease 05/07/2016

No I've stopped going.

needafriendplease 05/07/2016

Sorry SIFN . I hope you are ok now. Is awful what you went through. I feel sad as I love my dad. But he obviously don't love me. I've gone there twice a week every week since my mother died to make sure he is ok. I think he wants me to be alone. After my abusive controlling ex husband. I feel he doesn't want me to be happy. He wants me to be sad and alone.

KSprizzle89 05/07/2016

I just have to throw in a comment here. Your Dad sounds abusive and controlling and your brother gives into it. It is a crappy situation. If it were me, I would go to the wedding and not stay for the reception, but at least you would be there to support your brother and show your love for him. As for your Dad, I wouldn't say two words to that man. He can go eff himself. If he tries to talk to you, just walk away. I say all of this because my brother did not go to my wedding (my ex husband now) because his gf hates me and he picked her over me. It crushed me. Our relationship has never been the same and although I have forgiven him for not going, I will never forget. I wish he would have just come by himself. Just to be there for me.

needafriendplease 05/07/2016

Hello ks89. I was thinking that I would go for the wedding service then leave. But I'm not 100% sure about it. I've even thought of just clearing off on holiday till it all over. I feel annoyed with my dad and my brother . Don't want see either of them

needafriendplease 05/08/2016

Hi SIFN I visited my dad twice a week after my mum passed away 6yrs ago. My dad is a very independent man and won't let anyone do anything for him . Plus my younger brother still lives at home with him. He is the favourite.and can do no wrong. He is the one with the girlfriend that's allowed to the wedding of my elder brother.
I haven't heard of my brother that's getting married all week. I think he knows he is wrong to have sided with my dad.

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