Violet, I don't understand how one can abuse themselves emotionally or verbally.
We can have low self esteem. We can call ourselves no good or crazy, but that is something that can be overcome.
Do you have any family besides your parents?

I'm not sure emotional self abuse is real or not. But I was reading a book and this girl was being told by this guy over and over and over again how terrible she is. I suddenly got the thought do I do that to myself? Am I emotionally abusive? I've been fed so many lies by people I start telling myself that daily. Tell how ugly, stupid, overweight I am. Asking why would my bf want me? There're so many other girls out there that can offer him so much. And he won't have to marry into my druggie, drinking family. The list goes on. My bf will be standing beside me telling me how pretty I am and I'll tell him to his face it's not true. I'm some sorry excuse for a human being!!!!!!

v.w. -----

You have suffered a lifetime
of emotional (and physical?)
abuse at the hands of your
parents and it has caused
you emotional and psychological
INJURY.

That answers your question
about being self-abusive.
(And yes, that's a typical
result of having been abused.)

I have and will continue to
URGE you in the
STRONGEST TERMS
to get yourself connected
and begin working with
a QUALIFIED therapist,
ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IIene. I do plan on talking to a therapist.