Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Between contacting him on facebook awhile back and not getting the closure I was wanting after his phone call to start fresh, then blocking him because he left me hanging after I asked him why he called when I had heard he was dating and happy, I joined a dating site, and well..that has proved to just be harder on me.
Although I have gotten a lot of attention, he was on the site ( I didn't know it when I joined) and he viewed me, not contacting me for a couple days, then he messaged me. I can't read the messages as I am not a paid subscriber. I am not sure that I want to join as honestly, I am not sure that I am ready to date. I know it makes no sense, but I am just feeling things out right now. :/
It seems like his message, just hanging there, is stressing me out more, and the fact that after the weekend, I had to view his profile finally, the photos, and seen a photo of him with a family, a woman around my age and a preteen and two teens at a resort type place, looking happy..unnerved me. It's such an odd photo as he is standing off to the side, away from the woman and by the young girl. My coworker looked at it and said, " It's almost like he photobombed the people."
So for some reason, I finally cracked and Wed. I unblocked him on facebook and wrote a message telling him I was not ignoring him on the dating site, I couldn't message or chat with anyone. That we just were not compatible as we wanted different things, he seemed to want to date casually and I wanted a committed relationship. That I was not sure if the remark about him looking for someone that had a smile all the time not walking around pissed off at the world was aimed at me or?
Basically, trying to still understand this man and find closure and reasoning behind his contacting me when he clearly is on dating sites, one hidden looking for no commitment/hang out someone who is not thin skinned, and the other which he viewed me on, looking for his best friend for life who is not pissed off at the world?
So after sending the message, I rethought everything and was like, Oh my god what did I do?
The next morning, I checked and seen he had shown online on the dating site, but had not read his message that I could tell on facebook. Usually it shows that they do.
So I tried to reblock him, well, you can't do it for 48 hours. Ugh.
So, I did the only thing I knew to do to hopefully save face. I deactivated my facebook so that maybe he can't read the letter?
Does anyone know if this will work?
I feel so stupid. I feel like an obsessed teenager and between no counselor for weeks, work being busy, my hectic schedule at home and all, ended up literally sick all last night, throwing up and in the bathroom up till 10:30 pm, and had to be at work at 7am this morning.
I feel like such a loser right now. :(
Although I have gotten a lot of attention, he was on the site ( I didn't know it when I joined) and he viewed me, not contacting me for a couple days, then he messaged me. I can't read the messages as I am not a paid subscriber. I am not sure that I want to join as honestly, I am not sure that I am ready to date. I know it makes no sense, but I am just feeling things out right now. :/
It seems like his message, just hanging there, is stressing me out more, and the fact that after the weekend, I had to view his profile finally, the photos, and seen a photo of him with a family, a woman around my age and a preteen and two teens at a resort type place, looking happy..unnerved me. It's such an odd photo as he is standing off to the side, away from the woman and by the young girl. My coworker looked at it and said, " It's almost like he photobombed the people."
So for some reason, I finally cracked and Wed. I unblocked him on facebook and wrote a message telling him I was not ignoring him on the dating site, I couldn't message or chat with anyone. That we just were not compatible as we wanted different things, he seemed to want to date casually and I wanted a committed relationship. That I was not sure if the remark about him looking for someone that had a smile all the time not walking around pissed off at the world was aimed at me or?
Basically, trying to still understand this man and find closure and reasoning behind his contacting me when he clearly is on dating sites, one hidden looking for no commitment/hang out someone who is not thin skinned, and the other which he viewed me on, looking for his best friend for life who is not pissed off at the world?
So after sending the message, I rethought everything and was like, Oh my god what did I do?
The next morning, I checked and seen he had shown online on the dating site, but had not read his message that I could tell on facebook. Usually it shows that they do.
So I tried to reblock him, well, you can't do it for 48 hours. Ugh.
So, I did the only thing I knew to do to hopefully save face. I deactivated my facebook so that maybe he can't read the letter?
Does anyone know if this will work?
I feel so stupid. I feel like an obsessed teenager and between no counselor for weeks, work being busy, my hectic schedule at home and all, ended up literally sick all last night, throwing up and in the bathroom up till 10:30 pm, and had to be at work at 7am this morning.
I feel like such a loser right now. :(
My ex is a catfish, an Internet predator, who juggled 10-12 dating site women at a time for 8 years. (I saw inside his catfishing e-mail.) I found his profile on dozens of porn, hook-up (meet me for sex), and porn sites, in our last year together.
He was a love fraud who catfished women for sex and emotional abuse purposes.
After I went NC, he regulatry posted words and photos on his dating site profile on the site where we'd met just for me. Also, about me. He used the exact same self-description and headline from my profile for months, basically spitting on me. He would add disgusting comments of his own that related to me and our history.
He once posted a photo of himself in his underwear digging up my perennial garden at his home and smirking hatefully into the camera, which I am sure was on a tripid. (I have this gem saved.) His flacid 60-year-old manboobs rest like puddles of pudding in socks beneath his grand-pa undershirt. I sure as heck don't think he posted this to attract more bees to his wilted garden.
He soon took himself off the site after that (which means hiding his profile) because the man has been a predator all his adult life and will never be anything else. Anyway, yes, an abuser, will use a dating site to hurt an ex.
It probably is best to take yourself off, and stop looking at his profile. If he thinks he's got your attention. God knows what he might post on there next.
I'm sorry you are hurting, joanie. I wish much better things for you. Hugs.
"His flacid 60-year-old manboobs rest like puddles of pudding in socks beneath his grand-pa undershirt. "
Funniest thing I've read in awhile!
What another member here was saying was interesting about them being addicted to dating sites and poem sites. They do use them as tools to lure victims. I met mine on match..ugh.
Have u done Ilene's cards? Luckily mine changed his passwords bcz I would probably still be snooping and seething. It's not healthy. So, do u have the cards or anywhere written where you have the things that make him abusive and what he has done in the past? I think it's good to remind yourself when you get those urges, to contact or fir closure. These abusers can't even have normal closure..mine always had to have drama, yelling, violence.
I wish you strength to get thru this.
He had you and what did he do? He'll do it to the next girl, if you ask yourself the hard questions, you already know the answers too. WE want to believe the answers are going to change, they don't, you just bide your time. Some days are better than others, I know. It's torment, and so you had a little moment of weakness, that doesn't make you stupid, it was a weak moment, which shows you do care and that says a lot about you. I'm so sorry this hurts you, I really wish we could all wave a magic wand, and have it all go away overnight. Unfortunately, it is a process. You will get through it just stay strong. (((hugs)))