Because you deserve to get to a place where your world will improve. You deserve a safe place to fall and hopefully allow yourselves to let it all out. You have reached out to me on a few of my dark days. That tells me you have a kind caring heart and you need to allow yourselves to get to a place where you can allow the right person share in that.

I know when I don't feel like going to therapy is the times I need it the most and I get the most from it. Push yourselves a little more each time. Even if its just to work on some goals to get you out of being stagnant

Yes, what Took said!!!!!!

I can't say it loudly enough --- PLEASE GO!!!!!!

I can come up with the very best reasons to not go to therapy ... and they are ALWAYS because I don't want to go because I don't want to confront any of the yucky hard feelings.

If you can't talk about anything else, talk about why you can't open up with her ....

You deserve so much, including a safe space to feel all your feelings and heal and make plans for the future.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))

It's gets hard before it gets better but it does get better!

I too have no friendships other than here on the internet, I have no life either as far as things I do etc... But I know that this wont last forever, I know I am in isolation and there is a good reason for this, I am in healing and that's why your in isolation!

As far as your job is concerned, I've been there, in jobs I hated, the only cure for that really is getting a new job somewhere else! I find its the people that make work a better place, I've worked with some fun people in the past and when it's been like that its been the longest I've stayed at the same place of works.

Therapy is worth a shot and you'll get out as much as u put in so it's worth the effort.

I've been in counselling for roughly 10-11 months now and I've been offered some other form of therapy through my doctors, which means I have to give up on the therapy I've been having all this time as you can't have two therapies at once as they don't work together! So it's scary for me leaving, (I'm at the other end of the scale to you )

But I want to get better so I will take a leap to get there as many times as I can and I think you should try at least just to see if you can gain some healing!

Wishing u peace and love xxxxx

I am a college basketball fan.

Each team has five players on
the court, so that's ten players.
Obviously, everyone wants to
get the ball in her hands, to
either pass the ball to a teammate
who can get it into the basket, or
to put the ball in the basket herself.

But, now, remember. . . . one ball. . . .
ten players.

If that player stands in place, either
hoping or just waiting for the ball to
get to her at some point, she
will not be effective as either
a teammate who contributes
to the success of her team or
as a successful scorer, who
gets attention and accolades
for becoming a scoring star.

The absolutely best, most skillful,
most effective player is the one
who moves around the court,
looking for where the ball will
likely be next, so that she can
grab it, then either get it to a
teammate or put it in and score.

What that skillful, effective player
is doing is called, "moving
WITHOUT the ball."

When life feels stagnant, when
your crush isn't calling, when you
work at a job to pay the bills and
feel basically alone --- in a basketball
game, if the coach felt you could
contribute, you would now be on the
court without the ball. And NOW is
your opportunity to MOVE WITHOUT
THE BALL. Because. . . unless
you do. . . . it's probable that very
little will change for the better.

I hope you'll show the therapist
what you've shared with us. To
me it sounds like a pretty fair
description of depression.
But a clinician with whom
you're open and honest will
be able to determine is it's
that, or what. Please go and
talk. That's the beginning of
moving without the ball.

A better life is waiting. One
day you'll look back and be
sssooooo glad that you took
action to get to a better place
(and score!!!!!).

College hoops get me
through the winter. It's
better than just about
anything else I know.
I consider it part of my
self-care. And in a way,
it's me, moving without
the ball.

Please work through your
pain with the professional
you're visiting. And practice
SELF-CARE. It HELPS!!!!!!!!!

These wise women have stated the reasons you need to give this another shot beautifully.
Please, Joanie, we love you and want so bad for you to be happier and not hurt so bad. Therapy has seemed to have helped so many women, but you need to give it a chance.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I can't add much except to say that therapy is scary even when we know its the right thing to do.

I fought the process so hard I got splitting headaches every time I tried to do my therapy. Finally my therapist asked me, "Do you think you have to suffer to heal?" That stopped me in my tracks. She suggested that I could set some intentions that I could heal easily and effortlessly. That didn't mean I wouldn't feel the hurt, cry the tears, scream or yell or beat the crap out of a bag to release my anger. It meant that I could make it as easy or as hard as I chose. I cried. I yelled. I screamed. I beat the crap out of a punching bag. I released a lot. This didn't happen all at once. It happened over a four year period because I had a lifetime of healing to do. I still have healing to do. It's a life time process, but it's so much easier now.

It all starts with one baby step. One step at a time - one foot in front of the other - will unstagnate your world. Therapy, like life, is a process of forward, sideways, backward & circular movements; it's not linear. Healing is a non-linear process either.

You can do this Joanie, I know you can! Whenever you start doubting, just reread everyone's comments here, especially took's. She hit the nail on the head when she said, "I know when I don't feel like going to therapy is the times I need it the most and I get the most from it."

Big hugs!!!

Going to therapy is scary because you have to rip the band aids off the wounds, and open yourself up all over again. You have to make yourself vulnerable to another person, which after coming through what we have come through is not easy. But it is necessary..try to look at it this way, this person doesn't want anything from you, isn't going to take anything from you, but is only going to offer you something instead. Solice, insight, education, respect, and dignity. The right therapist/psychologist or psychiatrist can make all the difference in healing and getting back to a good life, one without abuse.

I love the wonderful people on this board, the support, compassion, positivity kindness, strength and faith that everyone puts towards each other. It is such a force against the weary, self -loathing, apathetic, and negative depression that almost a lifetime of abuse has left me with. It is as if when I feel like giving up..I can come here and I gain enough strength to fight on. There are really no words to express my gratitude ..thank all of you.

I agree with what the others have said, I just wanted to add one more thing.

You wonder why you are doing the therapy when your world is stagnant. The truth is, therapy won't change your outer world. What it will do is give you the tools to change your inner world which, if you use them, will lead to you being able to change your outer world.

*thonk*

the sound of livn hitting another nail on the head

Good one, Jennifer Sue!

I started counseling precisely because I feel so stuck. I am just working on trusting her...after three sessions. I have uncovered some great stuff already......I hope the same for you Jonie...

Sorry.....Joanie

Got another therapy session done and despite a headache from the anxiety of going, it went well I feel. My therapist read through my poems and journels while I was there and though it was odd having my written words read to me (she would pick out sentences she felt stood out at her) I feel it helped her to get to know me a bit better. I had taken out a journel about my childhood trauma, but forgotten I had vented in a poem about it. :( She caught that and approached me with it and just told her I would rather not dicuss it at this time. She moved on. Honestly what happened to me as a child is the biggest wound of all, but I am just not comfortable opening that door yet, and not sure I ever will be, years of hiding and covering it ya know? Anyway, just wanted everyone to know I did the therapy and thanks for the support.

Glad you went.

Please give the
process a chance.

Sending you love
and healing prayers.

p.s.

yes. . .

well put, livn!