Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am disapointed and a big disgusted with myself lately. I have been in abusive relationships before and gotten out of them without looking back normally. Especially the ones in which there was physical violence. For some reason it was easier to say, Ya know this person is dangerous and I have to stay away totally.
After a 2 year on/off really emotionally/mentally abusive relationship with a man who used his children to manipulate me as well as his own manipulations, I thought I could handle standing on my own. I changed my phone number twice and blocked him on social sites, totally cut off all contact with him.
Since him I dated another man after taking a 9 month break and thought I had gotten my mind together. Now after my split from this man, SECOND time around, I find I can't seem to break away completely from this man. I can manage to stay away physically, but I I can't stay total NC. If he persists in calling me or texting me, I will eventually answer and it takes me back to square one with him. It is like I can't get him out of my head, can't purge him and I am not sure why? My objective mind realizes he does not love or care for me, that he will always cheat on me if we get back together, that he is an addict and even when he trys to get off drugs, he will go back to them, that he will lie, it is just a matter of when..but my emotions tell me there is good inside of him as well.
I am soo mad at myself for thinking about someone who doesnt think of me. He only calls when he gets lonely, when he runs out of friends, girlfriends, options..
How long should it take to get past this? To break away completely? Why am I so weak?
Sorry..just really upset with myself.
After a 2 year on/off really emotionally/mentally abusive relationship with a man who used his children to manipulate me as well as his own manipulations, I thought I could handle standing on my own. I changed my phone number twice and blocked him on social sites, totally cut off all contact with him.
Since him I dated another man after taking a 9 month break and thought I had gotten my mind together. Now after my split from this man, SECOND time around, I find I can't seem to break away completely from this man. I can manage to stay away physically, but I I can't stay total NC. If he persists in calling me or texting me, I will eventually answer and it takes me back to square one with him. It is like I can't get him out of my head, can't purge him and I am not sure why? My objective mind realizes he does not love or care for me, that he will always cheat on me if we get back together, that he is an addict and even when he trys to get off drugs, he will go back to them, that he will lie, it is just a matter of when..but my emotions tell me there is good inside of him as well.
I am soo mad at myself for thinking about someone who doesnt think of me. He only calls when he gets lonely, when he runs out of friends, girlfriends, options..
How long should it take to get past this? To break away completely? Why am I so weak?
Sorry..just really upset with myself.
There is a song in the play and movie "South Pacific" that you could learn from. Just "wash that man right out of [your] hair."
Take care,
@kazb25, I do seem to have a pattern of getting involved with men that have addictive behavior, though usually they are alcoholics. Oddly enough I chatted and emailed with this one for months before dating him and chose him BECAUSE he said he despised Alcoholics as his ex wife was one. So I thought, this ought to be a good thing, he does not care to drink so he won't be abusing it or me. I did not know about his drug use. :( Or his other issues, but health type issues, i am willing to work with, those are not a person's choice and I feel if you care about someone, you stand beside them. The drug use though, he chooses and the lifestyle as well. Also the cheating on me, the lying to me..etc. Those are choices.
I guess I just thought I could remain a friend and distance my emotions as there would be no intimacy, but when a friend treats you badly, it still hurts.
Livindadream, your correct, he makes me doubt my own perceptions and I hate that. I am quite honest and I expect that in return. I am also compassionate and he just cannot seem to give that back in return, he will act like he can and then he falls through.
Landofkirk, if only it was that easy " wash that man right out of your hair " I would wash away, believe me. :)
Thanks all..