Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I was having a decent week even though my moods are often flip floppy because of the stress of living with him, they flip flop to keep up with him.
Now today i come to work and talk to my mom, i love my mom to death but yesterday my H stopped by and talked to her and layed on the sweetness and his charm and now she feels bad for him that i want to leave. She knows every thing that has happened and knows why i want to but she also feels like he is her son because he lived with us from 17 on, so she does remember the good in him.
So that makes me remember the good in him and then i feel guilty that he has no idea that i want to leave. I know my mom didn't mean to lay this on me and she knows what is best for me and her grandson but yet she can't help but feel bad for him, even though he has demonstrated his cruelty on nearly every member of my family.
She knows that i have gave him every opportunity to change but he won't he always goes back to how he really is. I know she knows hes just acting most of the time but still has the same issues i do when he is good, he's good, sweet and charming, makes you almost forget how cruel he can be.
I just wish i could get past this all, start a new chapter in my life, so tired of feeling guilty for wanting to be happy, instead of faking it constantly....
Now today i come to work and talk to my mom, i love my mom to death but yesterday my H stopped by and talked to her and layed on the sweetness and his charm and now she feels bad for him that i want to leave. She knows every thing that has happened and knows why i want to but she also feels like he is her son because he lived with us from 17 on, so she does remember the good in him.
So that makes me remember the good in him and then i feel guilty that he has no idea that i want to leave. I know my mom didn't mean to lay this on me and she knows what is best for me and her grandson but yet she can't help but feel bad for him, even though he has demonstrated his cruelty on nearly every member of my family.
She knows that i have gave him every opportunity to change but he won't he always goes back to how he really is. I know she knows hes just acting most of the time but still has the same issues i do when he is good, he's good, sweet and charming, makes you almost forget how cruel he can be.
I just wish i could get past this all, start a new chapter in my life, so tired of feeling guilty for wanting to be happy, instead of faking it constantly....
This is the time to use them
as a reminder of, as you said
yourself, who he really is.
He went to your mom to
MANIPULATE YOU.
DON'T LET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You needn't feel guilty for
PROTECTING YOURSELF
AGAINST BEING ABUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ABUSE BREAKS THE CONTRACT.
Good in him?
Of course there's good in him.
But you haven't seen much of
it lately, have you?
The emotional injury within him
that compells him to be abusive,
will always over ride whatever
good is left in him. Abuse
CANCELS OUT the "good."
Do the Clarifying Index Cards.
They'll help you stay focused
and SAFE.
abuse cancels out the good!!!!!!
so important to think about!
and something my ex abuser used on me all of the time-'how can you forget how I did x,y, and z for you? you only remember the bad, you forget about the good.'
and I'd say 'the bad cancels out the good.'
and he's say 'you can't just make that up. it's not true. the bad doesn't cancel out the good. that's not how it works.'
and I'd be left confused, lost, not sure what to think, since it seemd that he was in charge of how I thought about things.
and yes, he did go to family members as well, crying, saying how much he loved me.
and these same family members came to me and said 'are you sure you want to do this? he really loves you. he really cares about you.'
they will manipulate you, your family, your friends. they will say anything to be able to get you back.
Of course that was back before I had any idea I was being abused, and didn't understand his narcissistic sociopathic behavior.
He is a master manipulator and he is an expert in getting people to fall for his vulnerability(which is fake)
Dont worry about what your mum thinks, u are doing this for yourself. If it gets to you tell your mum that u wish for her support in this. Tell her u are not happy and u know that u NEED to do this. Tell her that this is the right thing to do and that she needs to be aware that he is charming her.
Dobt let this put u off your focus and plans to leave....good luck
I was once engaged to my first love, and when that broke up, my mother went nuts, seemed like she was acting like my x-b/f and her were an item....I mean she got nuts, and first, she threw our engagement presents to another location, not in the house, and then, she threw me out....I didn't go to moms funeral, guess why?, she was insane....So parents do crazy things, your mom should let you get on with your life, seems to think she decided that SHE doesn't want the man to go, like if it was her boyfriend
meyers
My ex tried to get at my mom, too. When I was still living in our common house, but he had moved out, my mom came to visit. He brought her flowers and asked her to go have coffee with him. (He could never stand my mom.) She said no, but he called her later and talked to her on the phone for over an hour, trying to tell her that he's the victim, etc. etc. These guys will stop at nothing. You have to keep moving ahead and expect anything from them. You will get where you can laugh at it sometimes.