Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi, I am having a real struggle to trust my husband. We have the standard history; he gets frustrated and angry with me because our relationship is not as close or intimate as he would like it to be. I get hurt and scared by his angry words and withdraw from him even more and around we go in circles. We are both trying to do things differently but nothing ever really changes. Today we had a talk about trust. He says if we are to move on we need to trust each other. I agree but how and what am I to trust in? He says that trust is a gift that you give each other, it is not based on the other's performance, otherwise out is conditional. I try to trust him but when he gets angry, sick, tired etc he ends up saying hurtful things to me and I feel this breaks my trust. I don't know how to just openly trust him when this keeps happening, I feel I need to protect myself and i know i cant just make myself trust him. Does anyone have a handle on trust?
However, I know that I can count on him to be there when I need him. Weird, I know. It's like I'm dealing with two kinds of trust in my life, or two different men. the one I trust and the one I don't. In what concerns intimacy, yes, it has affected kissing and cuddling. I don't like it as I used to because although he is incredibly affectionate,because the hurtful things he said to me keep coming to my mind
when trust has been destroyed time and time again, it is no longer a gift that you just give your husband (as he seems to think and is trying to get you to think).
I bet that at one time you trusted him blindly. I bet that your heart was wide open and your eyes looked like little flowers, you were so trusting.
I know that that's how I was!
My husband says that the only way we can make things work is if I trust him, but how can I trust him when he's said such cruel, horrible things to me?
he promises that he'll never say or do any of those things again.
but he does.
sometimes he's making the promises not to do things when he's right in the middle of doing them!
So yeah-your husband is wrong. wrong wrong wrong.
you don't just trust him because he told you that should.