Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Well today has been 1 month NC with the ex bf and I should feel stronger and a bit better than I do. I am not really upset as I could be, just a bit sad at the loss of what I thought he was and numb about relationships in general and jaded about the prospect of ever having someone in my life. I am alone about 75 percent of the time anyway and have been for 5 years so maybe that is just how I am wired? I guess I just see others with a spouse and children and I start to take a hard look at my age, I get a melancholy feeling. This will pass I suppose.
one month is not long give yourself time for a life change
I can't make guarantees for the future - cos if I could, you and everyone on DS would be top of my list! - but if there's one thing I've learned about life, it's that weird and wonderful things happen all the time. And the best laid plans often get turned upside down.
A lot of things happened to me that hurt and that I would not have chosen, but I also got lots of other experiences that, if I had been told about them when a child, I never would have believed would come to me! You just never know.
Hugs, and congratulations! xxx
Please take a good long moment today to bask in the glory of a very important accomplishment.
Keep going strong. You can this and come out better for it on the other side, my friend.
Hugs to you!
"I should feel stronger and a bit better". . . says who? One thing I have struggled with is that darn "should" word. We say it to ourselves and it's really probably someone else's "should" that was stamped on our brains long ago. Everytime I catch myself thinking it, I change it to "wish". Just the other day I was beating myself up because I haven't made any effort to exercise since before Thanksgiving. I have a really hard time motivating myself to do it, but I ALWAYS feel so much better afterward. I was saying in my head "you really should get that workout video out before you do anything else today". I changed that to "I will really feel good about myself if I do half the workout". And I did.
I have a book of affirmations for adult children from dysfunctional families by Rokelle Lerner, and your post reminded me of one from a couple days ago. I'll write it for you, and I hope it helps you be easy on yourself!
"I radiate inner light in this season of darkness"
New life is conceived and nurtured in restful darkness. Seeds planted below the ground protect the young plant from cold and wind. The seed lies dormant and waits for the right season to begin its growth.
As an adult child, I sometimes feel impatient with my progress. "Day by day" sounds hollow to my ears when I feel I'm stuck on a plateau.
I will remember that each plateau is a place to gather my energy for the next change. I will treat myself with patience and gentleness during this time of unseen growth.
Today I will welcome the stages of my inner child's development. In this season of lengthening nights, I radiate the inner light of new life.
Today is a huge accomplishment, congratulations!
You are an inspiration to me ;)
Good on you though for NC, it can feel so difficult and lonely.
I started to watch more movies at night so I wouldn't feel so alone. Plus my cat always needs me. Let's work on healing together..it has just got to get better!
Hugs,