I am terrified of spiders. Big ones, little ones, any! I have panic attacks when I see them. I went to a reptile show once and there was a kind man that tried to help me. He put a large red kneed tarantula in my hand, a little at a time talking to me all the while. I thought I was going to die. I was sweating, tears ran down my face, and I had all I could do not to pass out. I made myself hold her for about 10 minutes thinking it would help me in the long run. When she crawled back on his hand I felt so proud. Did it help me? Hell no! It's as worse as ever. Thank God I live in NY state where they aren't so bad in the village. I need to overcome this. I even have nightmares about them.
Sometimes I think the schizophrenic in a family can often be the healthiest member of the family, because they are the ones who get help. I have been rejected by my siblings because of my diagnosis. It hurts me, I grew up thinking they would me three of some of my best friends for life. Not so.
I got up this morning and went through my usual steps on my laptop to log on to our DS PTSD site and had trouble right off the bat.Then overcoming that, when I got here the physical format of the website had changed, even the colors of some things. Another was knowing where to click to get back to a vertical list of the titles of DS PTSD posts. I've always used that so I could get an overview...