Pet Bereavement Support Group
The loss of a pet or animal to which one has become emotionally bonded can be an intense loss, comparable with the death of a loved one. Whilst there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, this community focuses on human feelings, when an animal is lost, dies or otherwise is departed.
I have truly avoiding even mentioning Vincent's death... As many of you experience, it is so real and so raw... So many of you have had the courage to share your pain... It is time I do so...
I remember the first time we met... I was going to volunteer at the local humane society... I put in my application and had to wait a few moments for someone to approve it...
Of course, I went into the cat room to see the little ones... I was looking and looking and suddenly felt this persistent tapping on my ankle... I looked down, and there was this little fuzzy black ball of fur with the most beautiful emerald green eyes... He was reaching through the wires to garner my attention... He got it...
My friend, a vet assistant told me not to bring him home... She said he would have problems with his hips throughout his lifetime... I decided to not take her advice... His name at the rescue center was "blinken"..
I chose to name him Vincent... And then began the love story... Our love story...
I have been extremely private for years, not dating and having few friends... Vincent was all of those to me... He was my companion, my love, my courage, my sorrow, my strength, my everything... He stayed with me on nights I did not believe I could bear life... He stayed and never left...
For 13 years, he knew he had my heart... He never knew fear, nor pain, nor hunger... All he knew was love and passion, such passion... He was so sexy, like a panther with those emerald eyes... I used to call him my "pretty green eyed baby"...
He was a one woman man, for sure... My friends would try to be-friend him and he would become hostile towards them... On occasion, he would develop a bit of a "crush", and I allowed him that much, after all, he was with only me... Only towards the end did he allow others to touch him, but only for a moment...
He earned two nicknames from them, "The King" and "Vinnie the Gangster Kitty"... Yes, he was both and more...
His health began to decline summer of a year ago... We went through a terrible spell where he lost a great deal of weight and had other symptoms of impending death... My vetrenarian is excellent and we were able to pull him through...
When I truly believed he was going to die, I mourned his passing even before he was gone... I cried in hysterics and told him I was so sorry for everything I might have done to be a bad mother... There was no consolation...
The treatment the doctor advised worked, for another year...
He began to deteriorate again this summer... Same symptoms... We went through the regiment again, only he gave me permission to call in medications which usually required a visit... I believe my vet knew he was passing, and I was holding on to every thread of hope...
On October 3, 2013, I made the decision to put him down... My mother drove us to the vet, and I wrapped him in a blanket... I held him as she took us there... She told me he had fallen asleep in my arms, as if he knew... During the euthenasia process, I will not even begin to describe what occurred and how I responded... It is still like a horrible nightmare...
All I know is I wanted to take it back... I wanted to take it all back and have him with me... I didn't want him to be dead... I wanted to turn back time and have him be the "gangster kitty" he was while in his prime... I wished I could take back the most beautiful part of me and piece it back into my shattered soul...
I placed his body in a lovely sewing kit with sequins and a teal paisley pattern... I wrapped his body in red and put several different items in with him, a blanket, the Native American sacreds, among others...
The only thing I forgot was food... I regret that to this day...
I buried him in my backyard beneath a beautiful spray of bright orange trumpet vines... There is a statue of two angels, a woman and a man, intertwined in their loving embrace, reaching for the sky... I cannot look at it to this day...
I remembered two days ago why I called him Vincent... It is from the song by Don McClean, "Starry Starry Night"... The last line: "This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you."...
I believed that with my heart and soul while he was alive... Now that he is dead, I still believe it, but there is so much pain in my heart when I even touch upon that phrase...
Vincent, my lover my companion, my strength...
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you...
Truly, it was not...
I remember the first time we met... I was going to volunteer at the local humane society... I put in my application and had to wait a few moments for someone to approve it...
Of course, I went into the cat room to see the little ones... I was looking and looking and suddenly felt this persistent tapping on my ankle... I looked down, and there was this little fuzzy black ball of fur with the most beautiful emerald green eyes... He was reaching through the wires to garner my attention... He got it...
My friend, a vet assistant told me not to bring him home... She said he would have problems with his hips throughout his lifetime... I decided to not take her advice... His name at the rescue center was "blinken"..
I chose to name him Vincent... And then began the love story... Our love story...
I have been extremely private for years, not dating and having few friends... Vincent was all of those to me... He was my companion, my love, my courage, my sorrow, my strength, my everything... He stayed with me on nights I did not believe I could bear life... He stayed and never left...
For 13 years, he knew he had my heart... He never knew fear, nor pain, nor hunger... All he knew was love and passion, such passion... He was so sexy, like a panther with those emerald eyes... I used to call him my "pretty green eyed baby"...
He was a one woman man, for sure... My friends would try to be-friend him and he would become hostile towards them... On occasion, he would develop a bit of a "crush", and I allowed him that much, after all, he was with only me... Only towards the end did he allow others to touch him, but only for a moment...
He earned two nicknames from them, "The King" and "Vinnie the Gangster Kitty"... Yes, he was both and more...
His health began to decline summer of a year ago... We went through a terrible spell where he lost a great deal of weight and had other symptoms of impending death... My vetrenarian is excellent and we were able to pull him through...
When I truly believed he was going to die, I mourned his passing even before he was gone... I cried in hysterics and told him I was so sorry for everything I might have done to be a bad mother... There was no consolation...
The treatment the doctor advised worked, for another year...
He began to deteriorate again this summer... Same symptoms... We went through the regiment again, only he gave me permission to call in medications which usually required a visit... I believe my vet knew he was passing, and I was holding on to every thread of hope...
On October 3, 2013, I made the decision to put him down... My mother drove us to the vet, and I wrapped him in a blanket... I held him as she took us there... She told me he had fallen asleep in my arms, as if he knew... During the euthenasia process, I will not even begin to describe what occurred and how I responded... It is still like a horrible nightmare...
All I know is I wanted to take it back... I wanted to take it all back and have him with me... I didn't want him to be dead... I wanted to turn back time and have him be the "gangster kitty" he was while in his prime... I wished I could take back the most beautiful part of me and piece it back into my shattered soul...
I placed his body in a lovely sewing kit with sequins and a teal paisley pattern... I wrapped his body in red and put several different items in with him, a blanket, the Native American sacreds, among others...
The only thing I forgot was food... I regret that to this day...
I buried him in my backyard beneath a beautiful spray of bright orange trumpet vines... There is a statue of two angels, a woman and a man, intertwined in their loving embrace, reaching for the sky... I cannot look at it to this day...
I remembered two days ago why I called him Vincent... It is from the song by Don McClean, "Starry Starry Night"... The last line: "This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you."...
I believed that with my heart and soul while he was alive... Now that he is dead, I still believe it, but there is so much pain in my heart when I even touch upon that phrase...
Vincent, my lover my companion, my strength...
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you...
Truly, it was not...
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
You know where he is buried,so put out a small dish of food there and just leave it-if birds or it just disappears-you can always add more.
Because of his health=-you wouldn't want to bring him back for him to suffer just to be there for you...even though I'm sure he would like to be there for you too
People tell me the same thing about Lady. I extended her life by several years with the care I gave her. I understand fully grieving them before they're gone.
That song always brought tears when I'd hear it playing on the radio.