Pet Bereavement Support Group

The loss of a pet or animal to which one has become emotionally bonded can be an intense loss, comparable with the death of a loved one. Whilst there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, this community focuses on human feelings, when an animal is lost, dies or otherwise is departed.

732 Members
1,859 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Pet Bereavement Support Group

I Killed My Dog

deleted_user
deleted_user
I always was angry at those that commited suicide thinking how can they not think about the family and loved ones they left behind, how could they not see how much the ones they leave behind will hurt and grieve

Today I understand. I've never felt this sad, even at losing my dearest family member. If it were not for my son, I would no longer be here right now.

I am a forgetful person. I forget to mail things, I forget to stop at the bank while driving past it, I forget my own mother and fathers birthdays. I forget my own wedding anniversary and I've only been married four years.

Today I forgot my dog in the car and she overheated and died. Yes, I'm educated about not leaving your dog in the car during hot days.....I'm so educated on it I deal with dogs on a daily basis on many levels.....I own my own dog business.

I jumped out of the car while on the cell phone complete the call and ran into work wanting to help the employees catch up. I was so busy taking care of every one elses dogs and forgot my own.

I own a business (a dog business to boot) that keeps my mind occupied 24/7. My son I'm finding out is needing help to develop in certain areas and I'm worried he may be autistic. My manager at work ended up in the hospital and we were short staffed for one of top busiest weekends to come.

I will never forgive myself for my little side kick. She attended work with me everyday, always was happy, never got into trouble....really there was never a moment she was not with me. She literally was the perfect companion dog.

I will forever feel her running by my side, licking my face, snuggling up to me in bed, see her running in my yard. I will never forgive myself. I just want to die right now. I hate myself!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I killed my dog, too, and it still eats at me. I was in a hurry that day, and, even knowing that the old boy had begun to fall asleep under the vehicles, I failed to check before I backed out.

Try not to blame yourself so much, hon. You made a mistake, and that is all. Grieve for your lost loved one, but try not to blame yourself too terribly much. We all make mistakes, and sometimes they are terrible ones. But they are still mistakes, not deliberate. I feel for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
LynneC,

Thanks you for the nice reply. I was expecting some hate mail. I am sorry for your loss as well. I am sure being that you already have experienced a similar thing you must know the emotions involved. I just wish if she had to die it was by something or someone else other than me. You see, she was always at my side. My business is 10,000 sq ft and she ALWAYS just followed me at the back of my heals everywhere I went, even at home or vacation or whereever. Sometimes I would forget she was there because I knew she would never go anywhere. I just got too comfortable knowing she was always there. I feel like I let her down.

I hope someday I can let go of the guilt and I hope she knows how much I loved her! She was only 3 1/2
deleted_user
deleted_user
These are the most difficult accidents to deal with in life. There is nothing worse than being the one to cause your loved ones suffering.

I do not have words that will "make it all better". Even though we knew it was right to put our poodle to sleep, I still see his warm eyes closing for the last time.

It is not much comfort but your sweet dog is waiting for you at rainbow bridge and has already forgiven you.

Wishing you comfort,
C
deleted_user
deleted_user
C,

Thank you for your kind words. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself but I have to believe she knows I love her and that I'm sorry. I am truly sorry for the loss of your poodle..I can only imaginne when the time comes and you have to be the one to make that decision.

I don't know if I can get through this but I have to for the sake of my baby boy he is the only thing that keeps me hanging on. I feel like a monster.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are not a monster. All of us make mistakes, the bad thing is when another being pays for that mistake. Then you have to learn to live with yourself. You will, but it will take some time. Please try to forgive yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My dear friend. Please don't continue to to beat yourself up. This was an accident and only that.I know the pain you must feel at this time but this only shows me what a kind and caring person you must be. Please know my prayers are with you and your little one is now with God. May the Lord's blessings be upon you my friend...Chaplain Randy
deleted_user
deleted_user
Chaplin Randy,

I hope in due time I am strong enough to provide support to everyone on this support group as they have done for me. I am questioning my faith very much at this point. I feel like I am on a roller coaster teetering at the top of going backwards or forwards between having faith in good or bad. I know god understands when those of us question him but I am beyond question and angry right now. I don't understand why something supposedly so good can let something so evil happen. Is it the evil choices in my life I've choosen that has let something sad terrible happen to such an inicent being? My sweet love was so inicident and brought much joy to children, grown ups and me most of all. Why should the good suffer? I am in great question of my faith right now. I think of parents who suffer for the lose of there young and suffering of those who do not deserve.....such as my young pup.

She was only 3 1/2, she did not have a mean bone in her body and I left her to die in a car.,....instead of me thinking of her I was too worried taking care of everyone else. I hope I find the strength to believe again. I hope I find the strength to make my loss a positive for others. I've never felt such pain.

It's not the fact that she has died and left us. It's how she died and that it was at my hands.

God Bless you for keeping your faith even in the hardest of times.

AloneNSad
iloverabbits
iloverabbits
you did not leave her to die alone in a car and she did not die at your hands. feeling guilt implies intent. you made a mistake. sometimes we leave our coffee on our car roof and drive away. other mistakes have worse consequences.i am a huge animal lover and if i felt like you deserved it, i would chastise you. but you are already hurting enough and do not deserve to be punished any more for this. this was an accident and i am so sorry for you. god bless. please don't remember how she died but how she lived. take care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
iloverabbits,

Thank you a ton for your kind words. I can not say how much it makes me feel better. Every time I feel sad I log onto here and read the inspiring words of those that have posted back to me. It still makes me cry but it reminds me that I made a mistake and hopefully in time I will be ok. I am a huge animal lover as well. My husband makes fun of me because even when we garden and come across a little ol' worm I'm yelling don't kill him just move him aside!!! He still laughs at me. Dogs are my passion and someday maybe I'll find a pup that can bring as much joy as my little girl and I can happily look upon my new pup without tears but with a smile in thinking of what a wonderful companion she was. Thank you again for your kind words!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Alone, please try to remember the positives about your baby. And know that she's across the Rainbow Bridge and will be there to greet you when make your final trip home. I'm convinced our fuzzy folks are in heaven because they certainly deserve it much more than most people I know! Be good to yourself, you deserve it!
iloverabbits
iloverabbits
life's lessons are hard and it may not be obvious at first what the lesson is. but i believe that everything happens for a reason. this experience has no doubt changed you and i am sure it is for the better. you will bring another dog into your life and fill her life with your new level of love and compassion. please be strong. she was lucky to have had you!
Marigolds
Marigolds
Dear Alone, i know exactly how you feel. My dog went out on thin ice and fell through and drowned. If i had only noticed in time that he was not with me as he always was, i could have gone back and saved him. i know it was just a tragic accident and i know he would not want me to be sad because of him. just as your dog wouldn't want you to be. You did not kill your dog...you were helping and working and preoccupied. We cannot always be where we think we should be...it's just not possible. but i am devastated as you are and cannot seem to stop the grieving. I feel as if i'm going crazy sometimes.
Spiky
Spiky
believe me, i know what it's like to feel responsible for someone's death. but the fact that you made this mistake doesn't mean that your dog wasn't important to you, or that you didn't love or care for her enough.
this is a common accident, in fact not just with pets -- people periodically make this mistake with their own children, leaving infants and toddlers in their cars and forgetting about them, too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Our creator has her now, and is taking good care of her. She is in 2 places at once. She is up there with him looking over you and trust me, still following you around, and she is with you. They are always with you. Even when you don't feel them. I strongly believe that when a loved one leaves us. They never truly leave, and yes, she has already forgiven you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I used to groom dogs for 13 yrs before I became a nurse. I know of all kinds of people that have made mistakes like that and they are not stupid or nasty people. I'm certain that now you wouldn't take the chance and would bring your animal inside with you on a warm or cold day, even if you think it was for a short time. This will never occur again. Please forgive yourself....people who don't end up getting sick or leading unhappy lives....our loved ones are always on our minds and in our hearts, don't forget the good times..
hope this helps and comforts you..
Chantal