Pet Bereavement Support Group

The loss of a pet or animal to which one has become emotionally bonded can be an intense loss, comparable with the death of a loved one. Whilst there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, this community focuses on human feelings, when an animal is lost, dies or otherwise is departed.

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cath04 07/01/2011

My fur baby Tigger (cat) who is 16 1/2 lost a lot of weight about a year ago, it was put down to his age........in the last month he has had recurrent bouts of diarrhoea, and lost some more weight. Took him back to the vet this week, and they can feel swelling in his bowel, which is probably a cancerous mass.......he's eating and drinking and sleeping, all food is going through him. His breathing is slightly laboured and the vet said not to let it get any worse.

I know the time is coming, when we will have to make THE decision, but how will I know it's the time........how will I know when he's had enough.......am I just being selfish keeping him going at present.......just wish he could tell me what he wants me to do, whether he wants to keep going for now, or whether he's had enough.

i love him so much, and he's seen me through so much, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here now.........I owe him so much...........

MissPeggy 07/02/2011

Hi catho4 I am so very sorry for what you are going through! I have been in that exact place you are now. What to do??? Our cat Bandit had a tumor in his ear. We had the tumor removed and we treated him with steroids. They told us that he really didn't have too much time left. I always pray over things and felt that I needed a 2nd opinion. This new vet told me something different. So we changed meds and Bandit would go in for his monthly shot. They even would drain his ear. During this time I felt was doing the right thing! Bandit COULD eat and hold things down. He was still
able to move about and be a part of our family. By this time it was
well over a year and a half (remember the other vet gave me very little time) that he was with us. It was on one of our monthly shot
visits that the vet mentioned Bandit's time. I knew it was coming
BUT like you I just didn't know what to do. I will NEVER forget what
our vet said to us. Bandit loves you and he doesn't want you to
know he is suffering. Cats have a way of keeping that information
from predators and loved ones. I then point blank asked her, Is he
suffering? She said YES.

As a family we talked and decided on a day that week that we would take him in and have him put to sleep. We told Bandit
what we would be doing. We spent that last morning with him.My husband took black/white photos of all of us with him. Each having
a time to say goodbye and how much we love him. Told him we
would bring him home and bury him under the orange tree.

It wasn't until after Bandit was gone and the pictures were
developed that I saw HIS pain. We had taken a picture of him
looking at us through the french doors. His eyes told US I am hurting! It wasn't until then that I realized his pain and we had done the right thing.

Your heart only loves and cares for your fur baby Tigger! You will
look into your heart and Tigger's eyes and you will know. I will
be praying for YOU.

Big hugs to you today!!!!

RosieLca 07/04/2011

I believe you'll know when it's time. It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do; but it was so peaceful for him that it was such a relief. Best wishes.

deleted_user 07/05/2011

i know with mama netty it was the hardest thing in my life and like they quote they say I KNEW when it was time ,,,,she was laying in the hall in a little box and didnot come to her name and was just so alone ....it hit me like a ton of bricks that her cancer was not gonna get any better and the pain shots meaningless and it was MY will that made her live and now she was in pain ....i decided then and there to put her to sleep and though i miss her i know that that was the best and only thing i could do in honor of mama nettie

deleted_user 07/07/2011

Hey hun. You remind me of myself in October of 2010. My 15 year old cat Polly was going through the same thing. Her bowels were failing her and she was losing a lot of weight. Food would go straight through her. I tried every treatment in the book. She would steal the food out of my mouth because she was starving. She would even go into the fridge and anytime I walked into the kitchen she went mad. I had her since I was six years old!!! I am now in my 20's. I went for a couple of months just not knowing what to do. Is it the right time? When do I know when I should? I learned that when you start asking yourself that question, it is time. I also realized that unconditional love is not about what someone does for us, but when you love someone so much you can put your need for them aside to end their suffering. I just want you to know that Tigger will always be with you, even if you can't see him. I have dreams about my Polly a lot. I dream that I am going on with my life but she is still alive and doing well but I can't see her. To me, that is a message from her that even though I cannot see her she is still very much alive and with me, except now she isn't suffering.

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