I got diagnosed with BPD just over a couple of weeks ago, I just got back from holiday and it's starting to sink in that there's ACTUALLY something up wiht me. I mean I just always thought I was weak, thought that I couldn't get over it like everyone else could, and I hated myself for it. But now there's a name, there are other people who feel like me, I'm not sure why but it scares the shit out of me- especially because 9% of people with this commit suicide, they are notoriously difficult to treat with therapy, and I can feel myself trying to distance myself from gettin better even though I know I shound't but that's exactly WHY I want to do it. lol that didn't make sense, but everything's jumbled and I feel like my life's been turned upside down and that now everything is because of the BPD or is affected by it. I mean, it's part of who I am so how can it not. I'm just not sure I can accept the fact that this is just me, I just can't accept that. I want it all to be a phase or a condition that's treated with pills, but it's just who I am. Does that scare anyone else? The fact that you will have this forevere?
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