Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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/ Personality Disorders Support Group

my life is..any1 relate

MrsPLB
MrsPLB
My life is all kinds of crazy. My husband thinks I have multiple personalities and has said he wonders how many there are. It upsets me greatly when he says this. He's named so many different personality that I have and how fast they change. I told him its my BPD. I hate that I can't always control it. I feel trapped like someone else has taken over. I can't remember all the mean things I say and do.I can't count how many times I've been hospitalized and told for some this becomes a part of life and will be mine. I want so badly to have friends, but afraid to get close cause I know they'll bolt when they see what I'm like in an episode. I can't work, I can't handle the stress with out curling in a ball at home. My therapist has warned me about trying to work. I hate when paranoia sets in and I turn everything off in the house when I'm alone because I'm afraid someone may stop by and I stay hiding in my room. I won't even answer my phone. It causes panic attacks. If I have to leave I look carefully out my window to make sure no one is out there.
I've told my husband that the constant pain and turmoil it causes me at times is too much for me. I'm tired and want to quit . I love my family, but some times think I need to end it for my sake. I don't want this battle for the rest of my life. I keep on though, for now. One day at a time. Does anyone else feel like this
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am sorry - I can not relate. But I just wanted to respond with words of encouragement and a friendly hug.

Gods blessings to you
valgal18
valgal18
i can relate a little bit....i'm in a healthier mental state now than i was before, but there were times when i just wanted to kill myself or do something to make the pain stop.....that won't work.....i found refuge in music....the song "runaway" by avril lavigne helps me SO much....when i listen to it i sing along and i feel better once it's over...i also sometimes scream into a pillow when i feel that way....i also cry.....have you ever tried making affirmation cards??? that's helped me a lot too......i made some affirmation cards and a friend bought me some.....i know it seems like all hope is lost, but it's not....you just hafta try and stay calm and take care of yourself....i hope this helped...if you wanna talk, feel free to message me
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
Read Thict Nhat Hanh.

He reminds me that emotions are just chemicals. Don't find your feelings- acknowledge them. "Cook them like a potato," he says.

Many times, the episodes last longer because we deny them...

When you first feel it coming on, if you say to yourself, here it is... let me smile to it (yeah, I know- corny, right, but it works) they usually pass in 20 minutes and you can resume...

Think of it like the cold or a roller coaster- why is it so intense? Because we tense up and brace against it. But if we do the opposite and EMBRACE it and relax into it, I'm telling you... it's SO much better.

I know it sounds like the exact opposite of what you'd think, but that's why that little monk ROCKS!!! : )))

Google Thich Nhat Hanh quotes... You'll be instantly calmer.
hopelessromance
hopelessromance
I can relate. I have fought depression for a long time. But the last three years have become unbearable. I am starting to wonder if I have BPD in addition. My emotional state can change in an instant. All I want to do is sleep or curl up in a ball. I can't get motivated to do anything. It takes all my effort to just get moving. I have most of the symptoms of ADHD and when I was in school all I wanted to do was daydream and look out the window. I am easily distracted by what's going on around me which makes it difficult for me to interact with anyone. I've made up my mind I am going to check myself into a psych ward in a hospital. I can't go on like this and wonder how on earth I'm going to ever find work again. I can't wish the last three years away as much as I want to. Crying over the smallest things, wondering what the hell happened to the person I used to be. Good luck with your recovery. There are so many anti depressants out there as well as different beta blockers.
looney1
looney1
I'm sorry to hear this, sounds like you are going through a bit of private hell. I can relate and have felt this intense in the past and can occasionally relapse. What helped me was to do a meditation course which included loving kindness and CBT, an online course of DBT, and seeing a therapist for Acceptance and Commitment therapy. I am still alone but function much better socially and have fewer episodes. Its mainly about controlling the thoughts that spiral into an emotional state we don't want to feel. I can say its an ongoing battle, with work having to be done on it every day. Nobody else can really make us feel better, we have to do the work. Good luck with it, I hope you feel better soon.