Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
I have not been diagnosed with BPD, but heavily identify with many of the symptoms. When I brought it up to my therapist, she said that she couldn't make a PD diagnosis until knowing me for at least a year. I am not self diagnosing, I know it is very possible I don't have BPD. All I know is I relate strongly to becoming very attached to certain people and having a "favorite person," so I felt that people here would be able to give me the best insight.
My most recent FP recently told me she didn't want to talk anymore, because she couldn't deal with my constant need for reassurance. That was literally a week ago. I recently started a new job and all of a sudden I feel SUPER attached to my boss. I haven't even known her for that long. I just want to constantly spend time with her and I feel like spilling all of my personal problems to her. I want her to comfort me. I feel like such a freak, I don't understand why I'm like this. It's not a romantic attraction. It's almost like I see her as a mother figure. Which is crazy because I have a mom and she's great and she's always been great. That's also what makes me skeptical to say I have BPD. I had a dream childhood, amazing parents who stayed together. So I don't understand why I get attached to people like this.
I guess I'm just asking if anyone else can relate? I know I can't get attached to my boss and I'm not going to discuss my personal issues with her, despite my wanting to. But is there any way I could feel less attached? I've been dealing with having an FP for years and it absolutely agonizing because it never works out. I don't want to deal with this my whole life but I feel like there's no way to help myself. I'm always going to deal with feeling attached to people who can't ultimately satisfy my wants.
In North America it appears that the latter person with the psychological problems and the traits of addiction seem to be readily diagnosed as having PD.I don't believe that this is right because the two types of people are different.
Give up on the idea of having a best friend.You need to have a couple of friends 3-4 maybe 5 and to spread your time equally to all of them.Otherwise if you attached to a best friend you'd give all of your time to that person and you'd forget about the others and your relationship with others would suffer.Why? because you have such low self esteem vis a vie those whom you want to be your best friend.Because you want to put them on a pedestal and share intimate stuff with them and attach.If they don't meet your expectations you will get hurt and your view will go the opposite way.If you want to have an unhealthy attachment or a best friend but don't want to get hurt try sharing your intimate or personal stuff with therapist.Your therapist can become that less harmful favorite person until you are well enough ie old enough to do away with that idea entirely.
I'm not sure a therapist can diagnose PD .That diagnosis can only come from a psychiatrist unless the therapist is a clinical psychologist and gets you to fill in a test questionnaire of say 1000-2000 questions which would tell them.
If you are single be careful cause you will more than likely put the person you are eventually going out with or meet in the favorite person on a pedestal category.You will stop hanging out with your friends.You will lose your sense of self in this one person.Its called co-dependency.When it all comes crashing down and you want to reach out to friends will they still be there if you didn't invest in the friendship while in the failed relationship.Its about spreading your energy equally across all people parents friends. Onlt talk to your boss about work related stuff.Keep the personal stuff for the therapist..Tell your therapist that you want to do some work on boundaries and good boundary management.