Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
I know i've said this over and over, but I feel like everything is falling apart again. I don't know how to cope anymore and all I can think about is I don't want to be here. It's the only way I can see out of this horrible nightmare.
I had a therapy appointment but we go over the same thing every time. "Challange and change your thinking". 4 Years! 4 years now since I saw my first psychiatrist and I'm in the same cycle. I start to do better, I get so far and then the depression just rears it's ugly head and slaps me in the face. Each time I fall back I fall back harder and it takes longer to get back up. Each time it just reinforces my belief that things can't change, that it's always going to be like this which obviously keeps me depressed.
I don't know how much more I can take, how do I do it? Where do I get that motivation to keep going from?
Mum said to me earlier after trying to talk to her, "so what are you going to do now then to keep yourself busy"... I feel like ripping my hair out at the very idea of just carrying on like everything is fine. It's like my head is screaming constantly. Everything around me seems dim and slowed down compared with what's going on in me at the moment. I'm just ready to give up but no one around me wants to. I feel so stuck.
x-Bliss-x
I had a therapy appointment but we go over the same thing every time. "Challange and change your thinking". 4 Years! 4 years now since I saw my first psychiatrist and I'm in the same cycle. I start to do better, I get so far and then the depression just rears it's ugly head and slaps me in the face. Each time I fall back I fall back harder and it takes longer to get back up. Each time it just reinforces my belief that things can't change, that it's always going to be like this which obviously keeps me depressed.
I don't know how much more I can take, how do I do it? Where do I get that motivation to keep going from?
Mum said to me earlier after trying to talk to her, "so what are you going to do now then to keep yourself busy"... I feel like ripping my hair out at the very idea of just carrying on like everything is fine. It's like my head is screaming constantly. Everything around me seems dim and slowed down compared with what's going on in me at the moment. I'm just ready to give up but no one around me wants to. I feel so stuck.
x-Bliss-x
i feel like this too and find it hard to make it through the day, i get very depressed and each time it passes it gets worse next time so i do know how you feel with that, all i can say is that it will pass, hang in there is not something i would say to anyone as i dont think it helps but just try to remember that when things get that bad and you are as low as you can get, that you cant get any lower so you have to go UP, take care of yourself x
x-Bliss-x
sorry im not much help x
have you tried dbt ?
I'm feeling the same way right now. I'm making a choice daily to stay alive. Trying to keep busy so i don't think about everything else.
Sometimes it's not the therapy. Sometimes it's the person.
You think that's blame huh?
Let me tell you something - firstly, therapists and psychs are obviously people, they've been trained to do a job, in the rare circumstances that they may get closer to their patient emotionally, there may be more support there - but besides all that, it's not in the long term anyway, and all the conflict of interest shit would obviously get in the way. They know their job, regardless of whether you are a fruit loop or not they have to keep their distance, because they just do - you can't trust a patient completely, because the nature of the beast will always imply that 'this person isn't stable' even if it's just depression.
Have you seen someone rage with depression? Exactly, they are not in their 'usual' mind frame.
Sometimes it's the person because, you can't have a pill deliver you a soul, you can't have a few pages about you stored, make you ask questions about yourself better, you cannot have someone who is doing a job raise your esteem or anything else because they see you as a person sitting in their chair, in their room, not a person who is involved in the daily patterns of their life.
You can read books to open your eyes to the world, look at articles on the net that you wouldn't otherwise find in daily life that can help you 'see through' with the shit you never believed in yourself. You can even take meditation classes, and go on personal quests to open up the head and crack things, but when it comes down to learnt behaviour and stuff that you will always go back to emotionally, in that way, for myself, I've not seen any changes.
It's like, my eyes are blue, and that's not going to change.
Some people are just angry, and if throughout their adolescence this has been the general case, they can quieten the noise inside but they aint going to change.
Unless someone comes along to prove to you that - they are honest, people who have been hurt themselves and empathise, will show real patterns that they'll be there, and not just to be there to raise your fucking ego - then, then my friend, you can say 'ah yes, there are miracles in life!'
Until then, we are all screwed.
What you should do, is get a dictaphone, a camera, and write on a journal on your comp, and keep a daily, or whenever account of your life as YOU see it - there will be evidence then, and don't count all your eggs, do that, but for a selfish reason - or let that be the case or the deterant or whatever, and eventually, all that time you invested "selfishly" (code word) in yourself will pay off.
Hopefully with something real. But you can only hope huh.