I think wanting to be a positive support person for her and help her to be the best she can be is huge. I didn't have that support or help for years and my recovery stayed stagnant.

I have multiple diagnosises so I also take medication that has realy helped a lot. DBT therapy has really helped. I have heard many others speak positively about it. Can you help her find DBT therapy?

One thing you can do...is that part of this disorder will make the relationship with your daughter very rough at times. She will be overly moody, incredibly over sensitive...she'll have outbursts of anger for "unknown" reasons, she'll try to hide hurting herself. Make sure she knows that no matter what...you want to be there for her. Let her know that she can always turn to you if she's having a tough time and things are becoming too overwhelming for her.

BPD is a very, very exhausting disorder. But knowing that someone is there who will NEVER leave and never judge or assume the worst of you...DOES help. Even when it feels like it's not helping...it is.

She has struggled for a long time and I have always been her safe target,, so the violent outburst and abuse are not new to me,, we are looking into dbt therapy but not sure yet what road we are going to be taking as far as therapy. she has ben in therapy since she was 7 and she has other dx's as well. Bi polar and mild autism and depression. It has been a long rough road and I am not going anywhere.. but it is hard some days..

Well, keep this in mind. Sometimes, the fact that you're her target during her outbursts means that she actually trusts you deep down. Because if she didn't, she wouldn't feel comfortable enough to holler and scream at you.

I understand it being a tough road...my mom used to think that I would power trip when I got angry(as a youngster)...but that wasn't the case...turns out..that when I get that intensely angry at someone or something specific...I just CAN'T talk. Or very little...and it's hard. We discovered that recently. As it became apparent. So, I have very little of the outburst reaction...but I do get the anger side of things...I'm very irritable sometimes. (beyond irritable really, I'm just being polite)

Always remember though, just because she may say some hateful things...it doesn't mean that she actually means it. She just feels that way at that particular moment. Hope things keep well for you. I know it's hard...I tried DBT...and for the most part it was useful to me...but I didn't finish it...so, I didn't get all the tools from it. :( It is helpful...for anyone. Really.

learning names for feelings is something i just discovered useful,
to really describe them properly , im having to learn new words because the feelings are complex.
once the feelings are recognised and named, it helps to be able to communicate and makes them not so frightening.