i have borderline personality disorder ,diagnosed in 2007. i seem not to be able to handle relationships . my last relationship i ended after 9 years of financial and mental abuse but also because she started putting her family before me the final straw was after the hospital thought i had had 2 suspected heart attacks but 2 weeks later she said she was off to visit her parents and her little neice for a week i either came with her or let my parents look after me.it was a 300 mile journey to her parents. luckily after a year of various heart tests my heart was fine they wasn't heart attacks.
i met my new partner while i was still with my old partner so she knew what i had been through. before we got together i asked her if she would put her family before me she answered carefully by saying it would be whoever was priority at the time if it arose. well so far her family has took priority everytime. everytime they have asked her to do something shes there each time staying overnight meaning she goes early morning coming back late the next night. but its getting worse.they are a big family but it was my partner they asked to take them abroad for 9 days (they needed a driver). if she does ask me if i'm ok with it,even when ive said no she still goes so whats the point in asking me. but last night i really lost the plot and nearly hurt myself. i have a hospital appointment this monday but also the landlord is coming to do a repair which i can't rearrange my partner said it was ok because she will be at home. last night her sister rang . after the call my partner told me she was going over sunday night because her sister was going with her husband to a funeral but needed my partner there at their house in case the school rang because most of last week her son who is autistic had been kicking off because he doesn't like his school and she had been bringing him back home when the school had rang. we live just over 100 miles away from her sister. but when i said i'm going to have to cancel my hospital appointment my partner just said ok,knowing i've had this appointment for months and rearranging it might mean waiting more months. i feel really selfish feeling like this . this sister only rings when she wants a babysitter ,her mother has told me this. when she rang she just asked to speak to my partner not even saying hi how you or anything. i just can't handle all these emotions i'm feeling. they may not mean much sense but i feel rejected,betrayed,hurt,angry and even jealous . usually when my mental health goes down my partner just ignores my pleas for some kind of help even though she has trained in mental health. but last night she was fussing round me .i knew why and it wasn't because she really cared . i hate feeling like this ,i hate myself for it. but i have never known any other couples who has a partner that goes running everytime their family wants something that involves them staying away from home each time. i can't go on like this,in may she will be going to stay with her family for about 4 days on their annual holiday at a seaside park 40 miles from us ,she goes every year i can't go as we have dogs and cant afford a pet sitter. then in june shes off abroad with some family members for 9 days. then throughout the year she will be staying over at her other sisters whenever she wants her to. deep down i just want someone to love me in a way i feel loved . and to actually put me first most of the time. by the way this is a same sex relationship. i have a family of my own , but no one in my family has ever left their partner to go and stay etc with other family members. for the first time in my life i'm thinking that maybe i would be better living on my own than keep getting emotionally hurt wondering when the next time will be when she goes off to stay with family members.