Diagnosis has been around for a good while...but that doesn't help you much. Wow, it sound like a difficult position to be in :( i wish i had any strategies for dealing with folkddwho are on the high end of the dependency continuum. sounds like it can (understandably) generate a lot of anger in those who are closest. Seems like you could use some quality support yoruself. I have NO idea whether there might be support groups for partners/family members of folks with that (or other) personality d/o but it might be worth looking into. I hope things work out, in any case. Hang in there!

I deal with it it's not easy

I told my mother I think she has it and when she read the list of traits, she agreed that it's her.

It's a horrible condition to have to deal with. I'm here if you want to commiserate.

You sound so self serving. . She's a victim of her disorder... saying it like that makes it sound like u care only for yourself. . You are a bystander of mentally ill loved one..

Its a little unfair to call this a "disorder" or "mental illness" alhough it is in DSM. Really, DPD is someone who thinks/believes that the/she can't handle life on their own and gets others to take care of them.

The treatment is to have him/her learn that this is a faulty belief and that he.she can handle things. (but sometimes they don't "want to"). Unfortunately there is usually an "enabler" who steps in to care for the person, undermining their independence. Then it becomes in his/her interest to stay dependent.

Jacksbud hasn't been around since 2013 from what I can see. It's a shame because I was wanting to tell him he left out a very important factor-his infidelity.
First I would ask if his wife had actually been diagnosed or did he diagnose her.
Next I would state that a certain amount of avoidance, blaming, catastrophizing, dependence, depression, domestic theft, emotional blackmail, engulfment, wanting a better life-entitlement, fear of abandonment, feeling of abandonment, feeling of emptiness, harassment, inability to trust-lack of object constancy, low self esteem-low functioning, magical thinking-intuition?, mirroring, panic attacks, turning to the kids-parentification, perfectionism-wanting a faithful spouse?, projection-guessing your feelings, sabatage-provoking conflict, self loathing, self victimizing, stalking and testing could be tied in with his infidelity.
If his wife is doing the above it is not healthy for her or the ones around her, but other factors seem to have been left out of the original post.

How do you know this, walking? And what would that have to do with his wife's possible DPD?

This post is from 2013

Oh... duh on me!

I wish there was a way to purge outdated posts... : )