Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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dbt couples therapy... not sure what to look for

bananna
bananna
not sure how to explain my story, but, to make it short, my boyfriend and i, after some time apart, are trying to get back together. he has a lot of symptoms of borderline personality disorder in relation to the abandonment issues and the way he is triggered, and how he gets flipped over to the other side and i become the enemy. finally he has gotten to the point where he is able to admit this problem and wants to get help, and we want to see if there is a way we can be together.

i'd like to find a dbt program that we can both partake in, because i feel that not only will it help me to know how i can help HIM when we get into certain situations, it will also help me to deal with what is going on when he gets triggered. i don't really understand a whole lot about dbt, other than it seems to be very difficult but very helpful when you stick it out. i googled dbt for couples and so forth, but, short of calling and asking the professionals about things i don't even know how to ask, i wondered if somebody here has any advice, insight, experience, etc. on the whole ordeal.
valgal18
valgal18
i've done DBT twice....the same program twice.....DBT is not for couples.....if you see a therapist and do couples therapy the therapist could bring in some DBT skills for you both to use, but it's not like therapy for both of you....unless you both need it.....DBT won't help you understand him, it won't help you understand his triggers....that's not what it's for.....DBT is for the person who has boderline or whatever they have to help them deal with their emotions......i mean that's MY take on the situation.......it's not for couples.....it's not couples' therapy.....it's like group therapy with certain things.....i don't mean to sound mean or rude so if i sound that way i don't mean to, i'm just offering my opinion that i don't think that it's for couples and i don't think it will help you understand him and what not.....it may help him, but only offer him this if he;s willing to do it.....
bananna
bananna
thanks, you guys. 1lisak4 that's a good idea about the therapist who does behavior therapy. i hadn't thought about that. i do think it would be good for him to do the dbt on his own, too, but i would rather a therapist suggested that to him than me.
valgal18, no worries, i'm not put off by your thoughts, and i value your perspective. i do have some of my own issues when it comes to handling his reactivity, but now that i think about it, when it comes to the point where he has to use the new skills, it's not really up to me to "coach" him. in fact, that would probably make it worse. i didn't expect it would help me understand his triggers, though. just to clarify.