For me the core of it is what they call paranoia of real/imagined abandonment, self-injury, and unstable relationships and emotions.

great topic. Only knowing my friend with BPD, I see her for what I think she is. Multiply talented to the point of being a savante, but failing to often REALLY see that herself. I mean, she is wonderfulat whatever she sets her to mind to, then just stops. Such as her photography, her poetry...she is very abstract.I know that when she was living in the home with her husband, she created this awesome ranch of life. She constructed safety pens and raised ducks, chickens (even sold the organic eggs to a local store). She had a llama, a huge 100 lb, tortoise, a pet bull...and she has horses, did the squirrell rescue and refuge. She even had the local school doing field trips at her home. Then, down went the safety pens, and then all but the horses, dogs, cats remained. I never asked her what happened, it was subtle. And I am the housekeeper. Anyone understand that behavior. The self sabotage of something wonderfully constructed, cared, and nurtured???

I don't know that I'd call it self sabatoging necessarily... not always anyway. I am Bipolar so when I'm high I'll have so much energy and ambition and the smarts to chase dreams and follow them through... Fancy garden beds in my yard, lots of hobbies, books on Biology and genetics.... then I crash and suddenly have no energy or ambition and my mind just stops working..... For a time things just sit gathering dust where I left them then eventually they go in the basement or in the back of a closet, and weeds overgrow the gardens....... Maybe she just got to a place where she decided to slow down..... where it seemed to be taking time she wanted to put elsewhere..... Hard to divine someone's motives without talking to them about it. What might seem to be self sabatoge to someone on the outside may be very sensible self preservation from the inside. My uncle is Schizophrenic. He is a fabulous musician. Until his 40's he went between my grandparents place and the hospital... My grandmother was a very nasty and controlling person and was furious (!!!) when he gave his grand piano to the local university. Everyone was shocked that he would do such a thing... music was his life. Turns out that he donated it to the university with the agreement that he could come and play any of the instruments any time they weren't in use. Self preservation.... not only did he get to play without my grandmothers constant critique but he eventually learned to play half a dozen other instruments while he was there. That one thing did more for his independence than anything else had in 30 years...

I think that the self sabatoge is more like never doing anything because you don't believe in yourself.... backing out of school just before it starts because you have no faith in yourself, setting yourself up for failure by convincing yourself ahead of time that you will fail. Correct me if I'm wrong folks but that that's what it's been for me. If I have already accomplished something i take pride in it but I won't always continue to do it forever..... just chalk it up as a success then move on to something new.

I agree, looking back and loking at my life yes, i struggle a lot with rage, but you're right about the loss of identity...

But other than here, i don't know too many borderlines, but is does fit me.

My core is the fear of real or imagined abandonment, self injury, emotional instability, dissociation, etc.. I meet 8 of 9 criteria. The one thing that I don't meet is a history of intense interpersonal relationships. I just don't have them. LOL.

I'm missing the intense interpersonal relationships too.i don't have then either.
I think i gave up on them somewhere along the path of life.I just came to the conclusion that I was unlikable and would eventually be rejected.So to keep myself from being hurt,I stay alone

I have not been diagnosed with BPD but with major depression along with anxiety, meaning I have had it most of my life going back to childhood. I also am hypothyroid with that mess all screwed up all the time too.

But I can agree that even with this I feel I have lost my "sense of self" somewhat. I worked with the public in finance for many years and of course you always have a smile and everything is "peachy keen" all positive. That messed me up big time. I really did not know who I was --- when i came home from work, how could I switch roles in 15 minutes??? Right now, along with not caring if I ever get close to anyone (except my husband, I trust him completely). I don't get excited about anything my opinion of anything is always the same. You could give me a trip around the world free and I would not be impressed. I kind of wish I could get those up moods you talk about----that would be fun to have lots of energy for a change. Right now I drag around and feel blah.

Tomorrow I see my neurologist and he will tell me the results of a million tests I took including psych tests (my 5 yr old grandson could have passed some of that how stupid !!). I feel hopeless to the point that I will never get help----have been on all the psych drugs and they mess up my thyroid meds then I get all those TERRIBLE symptoms back from that. Oh well, such is life......