Why do you feel the need to contact your old therapist??? He simply did a service and you were the consumer; just like your dentist or general practitioner except it was for your mind/behaviors.

It's natural to feel some transference/gratitude for someone that got you through a tough time but YOU were the one that did the hard work, he was only your guide. The desire to "reconnect" with him is not therapeutic.

Ask yourself why it's so important to you that he see how well you are doing. Why does his opinion matter so much to you? What is going on with you right now that is making you want to reconnect with him?

He is part of your past. Not everyone in our past belongs in our future.

Hi thanks for your reply.

I understand where you're coming from but I do feel that he was more than just a service provider to me.

I'm trying to work out the reason behind me wanting to contact him again. I dont think I really know why it is though.

I dont think it's that his opinion matters to me because I'm not wanting his advice anymore. Just a friendly face from someone who I know cared.

He cares but not on a personal level, more on a professional level. If that makes sense.

Sounds like you need a friend right now?

I dont think it's that. I have good friends who I'm in regular contact with. This is just...different.

It's hard to explain but, I felt he did care on a personal level. Isn't it possible that he did? And if so, I'd think he'd like to know how i'm doing.

Would it really hurt?

You could always send him a thank you card and let him know how you are doing.

I understand.I had a woman therapist for 7 years.she was awesome.I havent seen or talked to her in 5 years now and I'd love to talk with her again ! I think she did care on a personal level.I dont think it was wrong ,as she didnt cross boundries.She just gave a whole lot of herself ,much more than t's I've had since. I know she truley cared about me and it would be nice to let her know how I am because she would care...Seems like alot of the new t's today try to remain as cool and impersonal as possible.Its a little sad.
Do you know why you want to see him/ I'd think its probably not a good idea ,even though i can understand why you want to.

I was thinking about this all day yesterday and last night I realised that it would probably never work. Thing is with this illness, and with my anorexia history on top. I'm at high risk of relapses. If my therapist agreed to contact without me being a patient, it would most likely mean that I could never get his help again in the future. With such a risk, I dont think he would want to chance it.

Although I feel stable at the moment, I know that there are relapses in recovery and so I guess I can't afford to cut off that chance of therapy once again.

To make things more difficult, he is also a therapist in the only local ED service. I'm not saying I'm going to, but if I ever went down anorexia's path again. How could I ask for their help again with him working there? He plays a big role in the service, not just in the therapy itself so it just wouldn't work.

It really saddens me to realise this because I feel I can manage now, and i'd hate to think that I wasted an oppertunity to keep contact with someone who I know cared. But for the reasons above, i've now resigned myself to the fact... it's not going to happen.

I disagree with many comments. Therapy is a very personal experience, not just like a dentist. It may be a surprise to learn that most therapists do care about you. In fact, therapists are generally the type of people who care about people - that's why they become therapists (and not, say, dentists).

Now, therapists are trained to keep a bit of a distance, not to get over-involved, not to take everything personally. However, most therapists would be only too happy to hear how you are doing. They generally won't reach out to you, but they are receptive if you reach out to them.

There are a few choices: just send a brief email or letter or schedule a session (expect to pay for the time) if you want to have a "check up" visit. It's OK. If you're afraid it would get complicated, then think it over and talk it over first with someone.

I agree with NYNM.

It might be appropriate just to have a session where you catch up and you can thank him or her and then go.

That might be nice.

You could do that.

Just make sure that your new therapist knows and that your new therapist thinks that this is a healthy choice.

In empathy and acceptance,

4My