Rachel
you don't deserve that at all. you are such a good person. saintly I would even say...from what you have said by yourself. those people are sort of rare, no?

I also know that good souls need to share their secrets with g-d, not with man or at least be super careful with who you share your secrets with because people that aren't as good as you are or who arent as sensitive don't care.

You said you are clingy so while you did not say this officially, I am guessing this might have happened. sorry if I am off the mark.

you remind me of another rachel... a good friend from college.
will you be my e-friend?

I think we have to be really careful who we share with. If you need someone to confide in, maybe a journal or a diary would be better? Boundary issues are common with emotional & personality disorders, and just people in general.

Also, I find meetups.com is good because you can socialize with people in a structured activity, so there is less chance for 'therapy friendships' where this kind of stuff tends to happen.

oh...therapy friendships. interesting phrase. so accurate. i have had those...then they dissipate. i rarely ever have others (sometimes i actually do...like my best friend from high school...met her before I started getting all neurotic)

I'm sorry to hear that this happens to you. I somewhat know the feeling...but seeing as though I try not to attach myself to anyone specific in my life(give or take a FEW people)...I can detach from anyone who doesn't want to be my friend...with LITTLE to NO effort.

Just brush them off. Complain about them for a couple days...be done with it...perhaps not even that long. Seriously...it's crazy how quickly and easily I can detach.

But in your case...I think that it sucks that you just can't trust anyone. Perhaps look for someone who's "crazy"!! I did that...someone on a suicide mission. Literally!!! They were going to go home and kill themselves that very day. The very day that I decided to follow them to make sure they were alright. They told me that they were going to beat/bash(kill, actually) me with a 2x4 and stuff me in a tarp and put me in the trunk. My answer to that was....Okay!!! From that day on, we've been BEST FRIENDS!!! We even live together now. Is everything all roses just because of how close we are??? Definitely not...but in the end...we know each other has each others back!!!

Perhaps you'll find your least likely friend in someone when you're least expecting to find them. I wasn't on the look out for this particular friend. They just sort of stumbled into my life...and from that moment on...we've been practically glued at the hips.

So don't give up. :) There's someone out there that is meant to be your closest and dearest friend. And when you stop looking, expecting to find them and LEAST expect....they will likely just show up. :) And they may be your life long friend in the end. :)

I am someone who brushes off people as I dont understand the rules! Someone seems to like me but then im not sure if they are just tolerating me. If they message me then I know they like me and I message back but will then worry that something in my message is wrong and now they dont like me. I find that friendships drop away easily as I never make the first move! I also have mood swings so I guess these also tell people to not bother.

I read your story, and this is my opinion, if these so called friends are talking about your personal life with others, obviously they arent your friends, its better to have one or two great friends then to have 5 or 6 two faced, betraying so called friends, I would never betray your personal life if you had intrusted me with your story, so if you wanna talk to someone, Im here for you to talk to or vent to. Keep your chin up and try to be positive. email me anytime.

THought I would post this publicly because people might have an opinion on this.
On a different post you mentioned that an exfriend called you the other day and said nasty things. I personally think that any person who does this right before a holiday, just to spread bad cheer is competely immature and a little twisted. Sociopaths and and victims of abuse behave in this way.
The people you hung with sound like they have issues that you don't. Don't be bothered with them. I know there are other decent people out there. Just do what feels uncomfortable and don't confide in them. Share things that you both have in common and things that inspire. You said you are close to god so he is there for the rest.
Happy Thanksgiving, friend

and one more thing. this is a personality disorders group and sociopaths might be reading this so sorry to insult someone trying to change but Rachel does not deserve these particular people

Its okay....I'm Thankful for all your excellent responses....becuz no matter what we have each other here...HUGS to all of U who cared enough to post and help me.......