Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

2,280 Members

4,808 Posts

0 Online

scelestic 01/12/2015

I have cheated in a few of my relationships and I realize now that it was to avoid getting hurt / abandoned because I did care about them something was just missing from the relationship. I was hospitalized a few months ago and there were people that were there because they were the one cheated on. I felt like the odd one out. During group someone was taking about their experience being cheated on and I had to leave because the group leader was agreeing that he was a horrible person. I want to be a better person but I think Ill always feel like I deserve to be alone because I have screwed up a few relationships in the worst way possible. I feel so alone in this.

valgal18 01/12/2015

you're not alone.....about 5 years ago i was with a guy who was way older than me and he was engaged....i was the mistress.....i feel bad about it, but just because i made a bad choice doesn't make me a bad person and the same for you......you made a choice and it may not have been the best, but that doesn't mean that you're horrible or anything....you're NOT a bad person.....i hope this helped...if you wanna talk, please feel free to message me

sweetpea222 01/13/2015

I have cheated to in relationships apart from the relationship I'm in now.
so your not on your own. it doesn't make you a horrible person .

DeliAnnem 01/13/2015

You cheated due to low self image. You are not forgiving yourself for the same reason.

Forgive yourself and move on. Make better choices from now on. It's okay if you don't do it any more.

NYNM 01/20/2015

No one is a horrible person if they learn from their mistakes.

If you keep repeating bad behavior with no intention to change, or only getting sneakier about it, well,,,,,,,,

ImpulsiveREtardednes 01/29/2015

I don't believe you're a horrible person. It's a matter of getting your emotions regulated and learning your boundaries....as a person and in ANY relationship. Until you get those under control...and understand better what you want/need...you should probably avoid putting yourself in any more relationships. That way you can avoid feeling like a horrible person, if they turn out to be someone you think you might cheat on.

There is DBT...I know it's not the cure all. And it doesn't always help in time of crisis. BUT...you can learn tools that will HELP you understand or NOTICE some of the actions you're doing to others...and how it makes you feel. Plus, you can make yourself accountable. Worth a shot.

Join the Conversation