Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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What do you think?

ponygirl74
ponygirl74
. Ok he's the deal. I have a male friend at my program, a really good friend so good of of a friend I considered him a beat friend the bust guy friend I ever had. But lately he hasn't said much to me or make eye contact. I've been feeling a bit down lately my meds have me a bit of a foggy, spacey feeling bringing down my mood so I said hi a few times with no response. Last time we talked was Monday or possibly Tuesday. Wed and Thursday I don't greet him to see if he would say anything- nothing like I don't exist. I shared in a group that he was in with me that I was getting down. Normally he'd ask after the group if i was doing Ok- nothing. So Thursday night nothing. Friday comes he's not there but then he helps his family in the spring with things around the house so I think nothing of it . I call him Friday night at his house- he's not there. Well that's normal also. Later last night I called his cell a woman answers it, I'm taken back a bit as it's not his sisters or mother on the phone. I ask if it's his cell and she says yes but he's getting a hair cut. That puzzles me- since when do hair stylists answer the customers phone? I have a theory. he has a girlfriend and now wants nothing to do with me as it's his belief that people who are dating should not have friends of the opposite sex unless they are a friends partner. That would explain the silent treatment and the no eye contact. I'm slighted and angry- why could of he not told me that he no longer wanted to be friends with me? It makes me question the friendship and why was I so stupid to fall for that a person cares about me? I e mailed him telling him he should be a 'man' and told me that he no longer wanted to be friends and to have a nice life. My other friend told me I should call him and ask why but I don't want to get this woman again and cause problems with them coming off as desperate. So I'm throwing this out to you guys what should I do I'm torn between my pride and asking him why- so what would you do?
ponygirl74
ponygirl74
Anyone?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I only have comments, no advice unfortunately, as I am hopeless at human relationships 101.. I think you are right, he thinks he shouldn't have women friends if he now has a girlfriend. Maybe the girlfriend is also a jealous type of person who wouldn't cope with him having female friends? He might not want to hurt you by telling you about this, or he may be spineless but doesn't realise this hurts you just as much. It might have been a mistake emailing him telling him he should be a 'man' etc, but it is exactly the kind of thing I would do, then regret later! Also, maybe if he does have a girlfriend she might not know he is in any kind of program / support group?
ponygirl74
ponygirl74
We both go to the same day program so yes to your question. The thing is is that he's always been respectful to me in the past. If this isn't a girlfriend and then he might himself be depressed and not want to bring me down which would fit in his character more. He wouldn't want to tell me that he's troubled when I am down, I'm the same way with him, when he's been down I don't want to tell him that because he might worry about me more then himself. Esther way I wish he's clue me in. I'm basically doing a cognitive distortion called mind reading. Were I think I can tell what he's thinking/feeling and he can do the same. And my black and white thinking is coming into play . Mostly my PD is coming into play. My friend could be very right and I could very well be making a mountain out a mole hill. The thing is I'm reacting to things like he was the persons who hurt me in the past. I have to see he's not. He to might be in a funk and maybe hi might be thinking that I don't want to be friends. I'm going to give him a call later today and hope he's not at his mom's house early for Mother's day . If he is then I must step back from myself and wait to see what's going on Monday.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good luck with it, mate. Human relationships = too hard! I hope all turns out ok - if you feel like it, keep me posted.
ponygirl74
ponygirl74
My friend is right-he's been busy and preoccupied. Yes being friends with people is hard work esp one one is showing symptoms- and that would be me. Since I'm both borderline and bi-polar when two act up at the same time it gets hard for me to get a handle on both and mostly the PD comes out in me. I have a hard time asking for help, stubborn pride git in the way. ugh I really need to get out of my own way, I'm still trying to learn how.
deleted_user
deleted_user
So glad you got some clarity on what's been happening! Hang in there - you seem to have a lot of insights into how you deal with things, and they tell me that's the most important aspect of getting better. It sounds like you are doing your absolute best. BTW I love your avatar...I'm a pony-head from way back.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm assuming that the group your going to is a mental health support? If so does that mean he has problems also? If he does could it be that he is actually going through something himself at the momment, if you don't know his history it's a bit hard to judge, he may have problem's with closeness, commitment or some such thing, or he may just be going through a down time himself....I go to a mental health group here in Aus, and I have friends that don't even talk someday's then others they chat heaps, as we all have problems there. I may say hi, ask if all is ok if its something out of the usual for them,and if they don't reply or go away I leave it be until they aproach me again and they are feeling better, I get in those moods and apart from a few asking how I am and if I want to talk most know me well enough now to see the signs and know where I'm at....
As I said unless you know all of the circumstance it's hard to judge or make assumptions. He may be changing meds, the female voice maybe some kind of carer, honestly you just don't know unless you ask how he is.