Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
It has been 3 weeks. We have started taking my sweet girl to counseling. I know that it is helping her. She actually opened up to me for the 2nd time since she told us about the abuse. She told me last night that he held a gun on her!! OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN!! He held a gun on my sweet little girl while he hurt her!! Sometimes he even made her hold the gun. WTH?? She was so scared that he was going to kill her if she told or if someone were to walk in and catch him. She was afraid for me, her daddy, her brother, the POS's family. She really thought that he would kill us and you know, he may have. I cannot believe that not only did he shatter my little girl's heart into a million pieces that we will carefully pick up and help her to put back together, but the sick POS held a loaded gun on my child and really put her life in danger!! I almost felt as if things were moving forward a little and maybe were perhaps getting just a little easier... then, this!! My husband and I were beside ourselves with rage last night!! Of course, we did not let her see that. I just told her how brave she was and that I was so thankful that he did not take her life or anyone else's. After she went to bed, the agony surfaced!! Agony of imagining my baby being hurt by him and his scaring her with a weapon!! I just still can't even fathom this!! She also told me that one day, she was just really tired of his crap and she busted in the door and said, "I ain't doing this anymore!! I am telling my mama and you can go to hell for all I care!!" She said, "Mama, I was being a brat". I said, "Oh, no you weren't!! You were telling the truth and I am glad that you said that to him!!" That is exactly how I feel and I am not sorry even a little that he is dead. He did us all a favor and I am so very grateful every single day for that!!
I don't know all the details of what happened with my poor babies, bits and pieces come out here and there and I'm sure will continue to do so for a while.
It took months after disclosure for our youngest to tell us that she had been bound and raped several times by her brother as well as all the other abuse he did. I know that he chased her with a knife and she had to lock herself into the bathroom. I can't begin to imagine the terror she must have felt all those years he was abusing her. Almost every week we find out new things.
I pray that you have the strength and courage to walk this journey together and heal together. I'd like to say that it gets easier. Eventually it will, but the best you can do is take each day as it comes, sometimes each moment as it comes. Always let your girl know how precious she is to you and how highly you think of her. I'm sure you are. You have a right to be angry and validate your daughter's actions and words. That too is empowering for her, for all of you. You're doing a great job.
I am soooooo maaaaad for you!!!
Hugs and prayers. When is your daughter's first counselling session?
I hope that you are also getting counseling. You are considered a secondary victim so please make sure you get the help and support that you need to stay strong for her. Surviving my own child sexual abuse was very difficult but my daughter's abuse hit me so much harder. Nobody should have to watch their child go thru something like this. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this very difficult time.
Laura
Please as Warriormama suggested, get counseling for yourself too. You too have been traumatized.
Charity7, I hope that you and your dh are also receiving counselling. It has been our lifeline. It really makes a difference going to someone who specialises in trauma and we are fortunate that our only sexual assault crisis centre is excellent and was willing to take all of us. So glad that you have found a group of people to talk to. Until I found this group I had been unable to really share with anyone apart from my counsellor and one close friend and that is a very lonely, difficult place to be.
Hugs and cyber casseroles.