I've never been so depressed and yet so excited all at the same time. I spoke with our detective today. To sum it up quickly, he said we can not press charges against monster boy's parents or anyone else in the family and that there MIGHT not be enough to even press charges against monster boy! No neglect, no kidnapping, no nothing. Also, ALL of MY typed up disclosures from the kids, videos, audio recordings, everything, can not be looked at to prove the case because it is considered heresay. The ONLY positive about turning in over 100 pages of disclosures is that it lends to the credences of my kids story being the truth about this monster boy; it shows something bad DID happen. The only written account that could be used for proof is the forenzic investigator's. Sadly, my children were so traumatized when they underwent their first forenzic interview that the police didn't get a lot of details. Also, our detective told me that their therapists MIGHT be called to testify however what THEY say could ALSO be considered heresay! LUDICROUS, right?!!! He did however turn over our case to the juvenile district attorney...FINALLY...so now we play the waiting game which could take up to a month. Only once we hear back from the DA, and only if they recommend that my kids undergo another forenzic interview, will we be allowed to have the children tell their side again.
***THIS is the perfect time because they are finally strong enough to share the TRUTH of what happened to them with others besides just mom and dad!***
I can only pray that they will be given that opportunity! But at the same time I am SO done. The detective tried to tell me that what my son did with his sister was just as bad as what monster boy did to my three children...and alleged numerous other victims...that ALL sexual incidents are the same! I'm sorry, but as the mom who is living through the aftermath hell of PTSD, anxiety, OCD, depression and the effects of brainwashing from monster boy, I TOTALLY diagree with him! I did however give him that YES, any sexual abuse can create a traumatic situation for a child. THAT I DO agree with. I'm not saying that what our son did had no effect on his sister...I'm saying that the evidence speaks for itself in that she's able to have him be part of the family, interact with him, etc. and she shows no evidence of anxiety around him at all...in regards to him, that is. She has plenty of PTSD episodes in regards to monster boy and his family in FRONT of him, like we just experienced last night, but everytime she tells me that the cause is "the usual...(monster boy's name.)" Anyways, healing and forgiveness have been acheived amongst OUR family members.
The continuing hell that we endure because of what our children are struggling through in regards to monster boy...THAT is our present AND our future. The abuse HE did will effect their abilities to date, to marry, to be intimate...to handle normal life pressure...to feel safe and trust people again. THAT will continue to force us to have to deal with social workers who will always view what my son did as worse because of his age, CPS, we've lost our local community, the other family has made me look like I'm crazy/lying, the pain and suffering that this has brought on my family, etc. There is no comparison in my experience.
*Note, a LOT of sarcasm is about to follow.*
So here's the long and the short of it...if you're a psycopath, you are free to commit these horrible crimes as long as you're under the age of 12. Have at it because you're pretty much scott free to do so in the eyes of the law! If one of your victims sexually acts out on their sibling, hurrah for you because you've created an amazing distraction from yourself! Especially if your victim picks an older person to experiment with! And congratulations to you parents of the psycopath! You are free to play the right cards with the law and get away with having prior knowledge of the crimes your child committed on these victims, dismiss any disclosures these victims made to you, keep these victimized children from being able to phone-call their parents when they're in your care and get help and ultimately get away with covering up all the horrible abuse that your sick psycopathic kid/s perpetrated on these precious victims! OH, and for good measure, make sure to tell everyone that because the police found no evidence supporting this case enough to go to a legal matter, your child is totally INNOCENT and SAFE to continue to live his life! Please, don't mind all the carnage your child has left behind in his path of destruction...the destroyed lives of numerous child victims, they are not important in the grand scheme of things! Don't worry! Your child will live a wonderful, fullfilling, successful life! Yay!
I've read from many of you that IF the DA decides to prosecute that there's the opportunity for the perpetrator to plead out and not go to trial, right? I HOPE that's what happens because we as a family are just plain pooped out. We're done with trying to prove the truth to others! Luckily, our detective DID say he believed my kids aren't being "deceitful, that some type of inappropriate touching occured but to what degree," he can't tell. Since when did the victim have to work so hard to prove the truth?! The system is SO broken.
BTW, I spoke with my oldest son's therapist about the disclosures that he made to CPS and he validated that what they had written down was innacurately reflective of what was said during our therapy session. He profusely applogized and said he'd try to give me a head's up in the future, even though CPS might not like that. He also said we have been the best parents ever and he agress that our oldest son is NOT a threat to the rest of our children. He also validated, because he used to work with CPS, that it's true that monster boy's information could be confidential because he is still a child so that could be why the case worker isn't able to see the details of what I've already reported like 50 times! He will clarify with the case worker the truth of what was said when/if she calls so that whole "case" will go away.
Basically...the trust with my son was broken. Even if we wanted to trust this therapist, we can not. And he said he took into consideration the fact that I stated that I feared for my life if he chose to report the situation where my little sister did stuff with my oldest son because my father is a psychopath himsefl! (Make note, that anything that occurred between them was split seconds worth and they were both 8 years old.) If CPS refuses to close this case without my dad's information, I WILL have to get a restraining order against my father to protect my family. This is all SO stupid. Every move I make, every conversation I have, every thought I think...I feel like a politician. What is the next chess move that I must make in order to regain unity of our family and make everyone happy while being morally above reproach. I hate politics! And yet, here we are.
I am a sister of a crack addict(50 yrs old) he lives with my elderly frail mom. She is his chief enabler and has been for 15 years. 3 months ago I decided to stop enabling her to enable him(giving up doing her bills and trying to protect her from having nothing). In those 3 months he talked her into changing her will, giving him her house, changed all bank accounts with his name on it, had...