The disclosures are so hard it is difficult to know what to say what not to say... It's great that she is telling you though. The tuff thing is she doesn't grasp the situation the same as you. Unless it was painful or she was treated in a hurtful way her telling of it maybe more of matter of fact.

Im sure there were feelings she had about it but she may not be able to really understand or say those feelings either. My daughter was three and just talking. The communication was the hardest part to get what I want to say too her in a way that was meaningful.

Small kids will easily adopt your interpretation so if you say that must have been scary then that's what they will adopt as what it was. So try not to put words to the events. Just ask questions like what happened next, how did that make you feel, maybe have some feeling cards to show some options. Try to be calm and reassuring. Your aunt didn't make a good choice and I'm glad you told me. Let's talk more about this later I have some books that might help us learn about those good and bad touches.

Read lots of body safety books. Books are great ways to talk about this topic.

When we worked though counseling we focused on rebuilding trust first within the immediate family with safe people, then she worked with a trauma specialist on recreating her story. Throughout we did lots of reading. We established good habits with the kids on getting dressed, bathes, privacy etc.

My daughter will not now till she is much older exactly the full realization of what happened. There just isn't a way. So if at some point she does or can she will likely need more therapy. Or not. That will be for then but for now we work on safety.

Great advice,it's so hard to hear but necessary.Did you find d out where her aunt learned these behaviors? Something like this had to have been learned.Hang in there!

Part of the horror of being the parent of an abuse survivor is learning the details, always more than we can stand, about what really happened. I know you'll get your daughter all the help she needs (in later years, as well, as heartsadx3 mentioned), but you need help with processing this new shock. Keep reaching out, and seeking all the support you can get.

I truly believe that the 11 year old has been molested. That def needs to be looked into. It sounds like you are doing everything positive to help your daughter heal from this. The saving grace is that it was caught early! My babies were molested by my FIL for years and years. The people that I met on this site saved my sanity!!! Its a safe place to vent.

She’s definitely been molested and so has her sister, she’s only a year older. We just can’t prove it, they are too protective of him right now. He did it to his daughter’s that are now in their 30’s because that’s when they confronted the trauma. He’ll get away with it now, just like he did in the past with his older girls.

You can help put a stop to the perpetrator's agony by reporting the man who molested her. How did you learn about his abusing others in the family? You can simply call the police (or your district attorney's special victims unit) and let them know what you were told. The rest of the family may try to protect him, but you don't have to. In fact, you legally don't have to, because you're probably required to report this anyway. Good luck. Even if you don't get justice for those he has hurt, he will have to face the fact that the truth is out.

Everyone has been involved. The system is a joke, he’s had reports filed on him, but nothing happens besides the police “talking” to them. No one actually does anything. This whole situation has made me a bitter person, I wasn’t like that before, but it’s just the way it is for now.