Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hi Ladies
Firstly, my apologies if I caused any angst here. I have sorted things out with the person whose words I took the wrong way. Unknowingly she hit a lot of triggers and very raw points in me. It's all good. I really do value your input, caring and wisdom when we are all going through so much ourselves. The fact that you take time to reach out to others in the midst of your own pain is a remarkable thing.
I'd like to say that our family is in a great place now, but that's not the case. Dd15 attempted suicide twice within 24 hours over Easter. Physically she is OK, though a fair bit of damage and mentally and emotionally she is in a better space, particularly now that school is back. She is really growing spiritually too which is amazing to see. Youngest dd found and read the second suicide note. I am realising just how much of a mess our youngest daughter is in. This last week and a bit has really affected her so much and my focus was mostly on making sure oldest dd was safe and trying to get her the help she needs, which we are still waiting for. I am spending more time with younger dd and can see her becoming more depressed and not coping with life. She finds it very difficult to talk to her counsellor about anything because she had to keep secrets for so many years and finds it very difficult to find the words to say what happened to her or how she feels. There is so much pain she just can't get out atm and it's destroying her. Her brother told her so often that her body is ugly and worthless which is why he did what he did and she so believes it.
Our house will be on the market either next week or the week after. Moving house will make some sort of a difference, but is only part of the healing. Like my youngest dd keeps saying, memories aren't just in rooms, they're in her head and they're the ones she wishes she could get away from. We have a lot of boxes packed and will move some things to my parent's place. Prayers that we can get a good price for our house and find a wonderful new place in the next couple of weeks wouldn't go astray.
I am physically, emotionally and mentally fast winding down. Saw my doctor yesterday and she feels completely out of her depth to help us with anything really. Every new problem is overwhelming me, so facing the huge pain of my youngest dd right now is taking every last ounce of what I have to give and scares me no end. The only thing I really have the energy to face is moving house as it's a physical thing and being physically active is a good thing.
Will post when I can, but please understand that life is definitely in the fast lane right now. Appreciate you all.
Firstly, my apologies if I caused any angst here. I have sorted things out with the person whose words I took the wrong way. Unknowingly she hit a lot of triggers and very raw points in me. It's all good. I really do value your input, caring and wisdom when we are all going through so much ourselves. The fact that you take time to reach out to others in the midst of your own pain is a remarkable thing.
I'd like to say that our family is in a great place now, but that's not the case. Dd15 attempted suicide twice within 24 hours over Easter. Physically she is OK, though a fair bit of damage and mentally and emotionally she is in a better space, particularly now that school is back. She is really growing spiritually too which is amazing to see. Youngest dd found and read the second suicide note. I am realising just how much of a mess our youngest daughter is in. This last week and a bit has really affected her so much and my focus was mostly on making sure oldest dd was safe and trying to get her the help she needs, which we are still waiting for. I am spending more time with younger dd and can see her becoming more depressed and not coping with life. She finds it very difficult to talk to her counsellor about anything because she had to keep secrets for so many years and finds it very difficult to find the words to say what happened to her or how she feels. There is so much pain she just can't get out atm and it's destroying her. Her brother told her so often that her body is ugly and worthless which is why he did what he did and she so believes it.
Our house will be on the market either next week or the week after. Moving house will make some sort of a difference, but is only part of the healing. Like my youngest dd keeps saying, memories aren't just in rooms, they're in her head and they're the ones she wishes she could get away from. We have a lot of boxes packed and will move some things to my parent's place. Prayers that we can get a good price for our house and find a wonderful new place in the next couple of weeks wouldn't go astray.
I am physically, emotionally and mentally fast winding down. Saw my doctor yesterday and she feels completely out of her depth to help us with anything really. Every new problem is overwhelming me, so facing the huge pain of my youngest dd right now is taking every last ounce of what I have to give and scares me no end. The only thing I really have the energy to face is moving house as it's a physical thing and being physically active is a good thing.
Will post when I can, but please understand that life is definitely in the fast lane right now. Appreciate you all.
Naive1
Wonderful news about chirpy girls! Yes, wrong time to introduce new "family members," as much fun as it might be in theory. The last of our snow finally melted about two weeks ago. So excited for our Northern Hemisphere spring! :D
deleted_user
At naive1 I believe that he attempted suicide or was looking for attention from x girlfriends in an attempt to try to get someone to come stay with him in his room. My oldest son was living with us at the time and disclosure hadn't happened. That's how everything was eventually disclosed. My oldest had a gun and would keep it at his bedside. I couldn't understand why my middle son would move in his girlfriends in right away and when it became obvious he didn't want to be with her anymore he would still stay with her and start talking to others girls. If and when they doing out he was talking to other women and break up with him he would lose it and threaten to kill himself of they didn't come back. His x confided that to me and I couldn't understand it as it was obvious he didn't love her. Then he would move another girlfriend in shortly after that. I guess the girlfriend staying in his bed with him in the house was keeping him safe . I just didn't understand any of it. He is smoking marihuana now and I'm trying to get him to stop. He's like it's not a big deal and it's going to be legal everywhere soon. It's so hard. All these signs tell me he was petrified for his life. He would pace and couldn't sleep and I just didn't see it. I just had no clue no idea that such a terrific thing could be happening. I had never heard of a brother that was only 2-4 years older then there little brother and sister that would do such a thing. Never had heard of such a thing period. Raping a brother or sister ? My oldest son didn't seem capable of such a crazy thing. It's obvious this wound is so fresh and I'm still having a hard time dealing with it. Believe me they are doing better. My daughter finished her college class and is currently going to the gym, getting her usual mani and pedi. Just went on a trip with some girlfriends and is trying to live. My son has once again started going to the gym. He is leaving his room and hanging out with the x that called me and told me she was worried about him hurting himself etc. So although things are very grim and it's only a start. I'm sure that the future will hold positives things for them. It's just going to be a very long road. My daughter has been able to talk to me some. Unable to get help or prosecute. My middle son hasn't even disclosed but I'm hopeful that they will continue to see my concern for there lives and it will aid in there recovery.
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