Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hi Ladies
Firstly, my apologies if I caused any angst here. I have sorted things out with the person whose words I took the wrong way. Unknowingly she hit a lot of triggers and very raw points in me. It's all good. I really do value your input, caring and wisdom when we are all going through so much ourselves. The fact that you take time to reach out to others in the midst of your own pain is a remarkable thing.
I'd like to say that our family is in a great place now, but that's not the case. Dd15 attempted suicide twice within 24 hours over Easter. Physically she is OK, though a fair bit of damage and mentally and emotionally she is in a better space, particularly now that school is back. She is really growing spiritually too which is amazing to see. Youngest dd found and read the second suicide note. I am realising just how much of a mess our youngest daughter is in. This last week and a bit has really affected her so much and my focus was mostly on making sure oldest dd was safe and trying to get her the help she needs, which we are still waiting for. I am spending more time with younger dd and can see her becoming more depressed and not coping with life. She finds it very difficult to talk to her counsellor about anything because she had to keep secrets for so many years and finds it very difficult to find the words to say what happened to her or how she feels. There is so much pain she just can't get out atm and it's destroying her. Her brother told her so often that her body is ugly and worthless which is why he did what he did and she so believes it.
Our house will be on the market either next week or the week after. Moving house will make some sort of a difference, but is only part of the healing. Like my youngest dd keeps saying, memories aren't just in rooms, they're in her head and they're the ones she wishes she could get away from. We have a lot of boxes packed and will move some things to my parent's place. Prayers that we can get a good price for our house and find a wonderful new place in the next couple of weeks wouldn't go astray.
I am physically, emotionally and mentally fast winding down. Saw my doctor yesterday and she feels completely out of her depth to help us with anything really. Every new problem is overwhelming me, so facing the huge pain of my youngest dd right now is taking every last ounce of what I have to give and scares me no end. The only thing I really have the energy to face is moving house as it's a physical thing and being physically active is a good thing.
Will post when I can, but please understand that life is definitely in the fast lane right now. Appreciate you all.
Firstly, my apologies if I caused any angst here. I have sorted things out with the person whose words I took the wrong way. Unknowingly she hit a lot of triggers and very raw points in me. It's all good. I really do value your input, caring and wisdom when we are all going through so much ourselves. The fact that you take time to reach out to others in the midst of your own pain is a remarkable thing.
I'd like to say that our family is in a great place now, but that's not the case. Dd15 attempted suicide twice within 24 hours over Easter. Physically she is OK, though a fair bit of damage and mentally and emotionally she is in a better space, particularly now that school is back. She is really growing spiritually too which is amazing to see. Youngest dd found and read the second suicide note. I am realising just how much of a mess our youngest daughter is in. This last week and a bit has really affected her so much and my focus was mostly on making sure oldest dd was safe and trying to get her the help she needs, which we are still waiting for. I am spending more time with younger dd and can see her becoming more depressed and not coping with life. She finds it very difficult to talk to her counsellor about anything because she had to keep secrets for so many years and finds it very difficult to find the words to say what happened to her or how she feels. There is so much pain she just can't get out atm and it's destroying her. Her brother told her so often that her body is ugly and worthless which is why he did what he did and she so believes it.
Our house will be on the market either next week or the week after. Moving house will make some sort of a difference, but is only part of the healing. Like my youngest dd keeps saying, memories aren't just in rooms, they're in her head and they're the ones she wishes she could get away from. We have a lot of boxes packed and will move some things to my parent's place. Prayers that we can get a good price for our house and find a wonderful new place in the next couple of weeks wouldn't go astray.
I am physically, emotionally and mentally fast winding down. Saw my doctor yesterday and she feels completely out of her depth to help us with anything really. Every new problem is overwhelming me, so facing the huge pain of my youngest dd right now is taking every last ounce of what I have to give and scares me no end. The only thing I really have the energy to face is moving house as it's a physical thing and being physically active is a good thing.
Will post when I can, but please understand that life is definitely in the fast lane right now. Appreciate you all.
I too wish that I could move from my current house, but the house will need alot of work before I can sell it to even break even on it.
I'm glad you worked it out with the other member here, although I have no idea what happened.
I am sending prayers and hugs your way for you and both your daughters.
Hugs to you.........
Gina
At least you can know that you're supported and have a place to be heard and let off those hot, intense feelings without causing anyone alarm.
I'll be thinking of you!!
When things get better at home - because they will..
I am looking forward to watching you do that same thing again you're so good at that you thought you couldn't do :-)
Hugs to you n your kids! Stay STRONG!!! Cuz you're stronger than u think you are!
No joy with a house as yet. We saw a house we loved the look of and were going to bid on but we quickly realised it will be out of our reach. I'm sure that the right house will come up at the right time.
That said, I am really glad to learn that you're seeing signs of healing! Great news!
Youngest dd is now the one who is struggling more and falling apart on me. She sees her counsellor again this week and hopefully will start talking more.
Saw a house yesterday that we love but it is going to be too expensive unless I can come up with some creative accounting. Will keep you posted on how we go. We still have a huge hole in our back garden from some plumbing work that needed redoing and hasn't been approved. That should all be finished on Tuesday and then we can re-landscape and be on the downhill run to listing our house for sale.
If your eldest is ready to move on from competition, it's great that she's still interested in the recreational aspects of sports. Injuries happen to kids no matter what their life circumstances. It's best if your daughter takes care of her body so she's able to use it joyfully in the long term. I'm glad you can support her in this. It's obvious that she is responding well to your allowing her to have some control over her life.
Getting ready for sale is such a grueling challenge. I have my fingers crossed that you will find a house and buyer ASAP, as close together as possible! You can't just turn the hold into a koi pond? Rats.
Re looking after the body, dd almost had ankle reconstruction on both ankles and she has bunions, at the age of 15, from all the toe work they did in the last few years. One girl who used to dance with her had knee reconstruction at the age of 8! The other thing that dd is really excited about is the possibility of a weekend job. She hopes to work with animals in a pet store. She has a real knack with birds and her dream pet is a parrot of some kind. No shortage of those here in Australia. We get some very beautiful ones where we live and feed them at different times of the year.
Both girls are settling into homework today, the first time in weeks they have been able to do so. Just take things one day at a time and hope it's a good one.
Parrots are such amazing birds. If I had the time (and weren't so old already) I'd be tempted to get one. Working with animals would be ideal for someone who is healing. Fingers crossed for that as well! (I'm running out of fingers to cross for you!! :D)
Keep up the focus on each day at a time. Each day is a triumph, and marks a milestone by which you can measure that you ARE getting through this.
Naive1, not all parrots live to a ripe old age. Cockatiels have a lifespan of about 15 years. OTOH, if you get one of our cockatoos, then your great, great grandchildren will be inheriting it.
First frost of the year today. Some places had snow on the weekend, but nothing to see on our mountains.
Girls were both chirpy this morning as they headed off to school. Praying that all goes well. I'm taking lots of boxes to my parent's place, seeing my counsellor, tidying the house etc.