We would all like to believe that a abuser ( especially if it is a family member) is truly sorry and wants help. Is it possible that he does? Yes......BUT CAN YOU EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN? NO!!!!! I hope he gets punished and he gets help. Even if he does he wouldn't get to be around my daughters ever again.

Let the authorities take care of him and you put all of your focus on your children's healing. When we found out what our son had done to our daughter I did have some worries about my son-what will happen to him?...will her be okay? .......will he try to kill himself?

The surivior MUST BE PUT FIRST. Stop worrying about that kid-he is a criminal who can't be trusted ever again. Lines are drawn and boundaries cannot be crossed ever again- your children's lives and happiness depend on you focusing on them; NOT THE ABUSER!

Laura

My kids do come first and I would never put him b4 her!!!!!! I just wanted 2 know if it was what I should accept with a plea!!!!!!??

Sorry my3hearts. I didn't mean to upset you. I thought maybe you were struggling with the same type of feelings that I struggled with after I found out my son had abused my daughter. It is really tough to have both the abuser and the survivior in the same family. That is really what I was speaking to.

Maybe the perp really does want to stop himself from hurting another child by getting the castration. I don't know, we have all been devastated by these horrible people and taking them at their word is nearly impossible for us to do. What does the prosecutor think about it? Would he still be able to get an erection with the use of Viagra, a pump, or some other artificial means? Warriormama has a good point about the psychological aspects of this type of perp. I don't think Warriormama was implying that you would allow him back into your family's lives. She has always had our children's best interest at heart, please keep that in mind. You are an amazing person who has been put in a hellish situation and we support you.

I'm sorry. And I'm not struggling so far as wanting him involved with us or anything I'm just confused bc I don't know which way 2 go. And I DEF think he should have mental help as well!!!!! And about 10% can have erections. I just want to make the right choice n I just wish the legal side of this was over so my girls n I could just move forward w out all the legal lingering over our heads! :/ and so far as if he truly wants help.... idk . I want to believe it bc he confessed to prior crimes as well but truthfully, it doesn't really matter bc it doesn't change the fact that my baby was hurt!! I just leave that part for Go. And thank you all for your advice :)

GOD

I know how you feel about having the criminal part hanging over our heads. It does take up time and energy. Can you ask the prosecutor to give you more info, such as would he receive counseling, be a registered sex offender? It seems like you have just a portion of the picture and you are being asked to make a decision without truly being informed. You know, it is OK to not make a decision sometimes. You can abstain and let the court figure it out if you choose. Let's face it, what we want to happen (my husband having 3 minutes alone with my dad!) and what the court decides is usually out of our hands anyway.

I wondered if it was ok to just step back and let them decide. I know there isn't a so treatment program in the prisons here n I really think he should have treatment as well. Uhh... barely 3 months in and I'm ready 2 say 4get it all!!!!!!!