Have so much to share with you guys that has happened this week but I don't have the time or the patience to sit here and try to type it all up. Suffice to say CPS made a visit to our home this week to verify all of our children are quote on quote safe and with the exception of a couple more steps we almost have that short case closed. Ironically the only reason they showed up is because of something that I share with my oldest son's therapist which I had already previously shared with his other out-of-state therapist then what I hear it was actually taken out of context a little bit. So I get to confront him and see who's lying either him or CPS about what was reported. Not to mention the CPS worker traumatized my children to the point of them having anxiety and not being able to participate in their swim class today that she showed up and ask them random questions. There's a lot more to that story including my little guy saying something about his big brother hurting him which what he really meant was antagonize him but if first you know I have to prove the fact that he's been displaced in his concerns about his monster boy perpetration onto his big brother with his PTSD episodes. Luckily I have a medical note because I already reported a lot of the stuff that he might have accidentally shared and gotten a medical note to prove that it's nothing that's current. We also had a meeting with my daughter's therapist too even though my oldest son's therapist wrote a letter of commendation and proof that he is safe to move home and he does not feel there is any concern about him abusing any of his other siblings, she decided to fix it on the sentence after he said that he was safe to move home but simply described the word compulsion which was in regards to his old pornography addiction that he has not participated in for over a year. We made it very clear to her that she's not his therapist and that we simply want her to make sure that my daughter feel safe and that was her job to talk with her about it and we're trying to be open and honest and share with her that this is our plan that we are moving ahead with bringing him home. That meeting didn't go exactly like we had hoped and basically we're being penalized because my daughter's therapist got sick back in March and we had to wait another 4 months to get back into therapy and so therefore this lady is saying everything that occurred outside of therapy is invalid and therefore she cannot state that she believes that it's time for him to move back home even though again legally we do not have to follow a reunification plan but I've chosen 2 for the safety of our kids. Then I got to speak with the leader of that Children's Group One More Time. That was a fun conversation and extremely enlightening. It took an hour and basically by the end of the conversation I felt like our family had done something wrong because basically I was told that they will not take sides on which family is lying and they know that one of our families is lying. They also said they will only have the child monster boy not be on the premises of the church if the legal case is still being investigated otherwise he is free and welcome to participate wherever that he wants to. I made The Logical argument that why in the world would I continue to go through so much trouble with the way they treated me to continue to try to share with them the serious nature of our concerns especially if we're not going to be returning to their group if it wasn't true. He finally seemed to concede but I gotta tell you I am thinking that the lies the other family is sharing are being accepted a lot more than the truth that we are telling. We have set up a meeting for our 12 year old son victim to speak with this leader and the leader of his specific subset group and share his story and his concerns about the safety of their Club. It will be interesting to see how this is received because this child is the one that they would actually listen to because they know he cannot lie due to his special mental abilities. But in case you didn't pick up on the fact my husband and I have decided that we are cutting ties with the church completely. This group leader has alluded to the fact that a lot of the reason that things are happening the way they are is because the pastor has dismissed our concerns as extremely valid and decided to not play any sides and it's trickling down effect is the reason why we are being dismissed and pacify the way that we are by the leader of the group.  Then I got to talk with my narcissistic mother for 2 hours which is amazing because I believe I finally made it through her thick head that my life is extremely stressful right now and I do not have time to play games or to serve her needs and desires. Luckily I did not have to divulge too much more information to her but simply my emotional state and my responses to her various inquiries gave enough insight.

The good news is my oldest son is now moving home, his cancer scans were clean and he is going to be moving ahead getting his reparative surgery toward the end of the month. I just spoke with the leader of the club and clarified something that he had said that really that wrong with me and he admitted that he had not thought through what he had said and how it would be interpreted and that he was wrong and probably misspoke. Because I'm not thinking through what I'm saying I'm not sure if I already mentioned it but basically he said if there was an open investigation that both parties involved would be asked to not come to the club until the case was closed. I pointed out the fact that it didn't really make sense to have children that have alleged to be victims penalized by being removed from a club if they are not a threat to anyone on the campus of said Club. I also pointed out the fact that for a case with a child under the age of 12 to reach the task force of the police it's already been proven to be true enough through CPS. I also asked him if he had spoken with monster boy at all and he admitted he did not have that opportunity yet. He said he did not feel it was his place to ask him any questions and I pointed out that it's every much his place if things had happened on campus during his Club. He said he needed to ask the pastor and he would have to make that choice. Anyways that's where I am in life right now... Oh yeah and my husband ended up going to the emergency room due to high blood pressure and is feeling extremely sick now and we're concerned he could have a blood clot in his heart. Please pray for me I'm really struggling. I mainly struggling to have the energy to keep pushing and doing everything I'm supposed to a hundred percent. I'm also really tired of being beaten up emotionally and stead of being supported by the various people in our lives when they know that our children have probably been victimized. I'm getting really frustrated with this whole jazz but I have to fight because I have friends that are asking me to help them stand up and tell the truth. Where are all the brave people? Why do I feel like Hercules all on my own? I can't wait to be able to put my advocator cap in the closet for good.