Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Last night I was watching a movie with my husband, a movie that I had gotten from our library. At one point in the movie this young girl started talking about how she was abused by her moms boyfriend (his name happened to be the same as our girls abuser). I was physically sick. I jumped out of my chair, ran to the VCR and stopped it. I told my husband I could'nt watch a minute more. I had to lie down and read my prayer journal I was so shaken. Thank God my daughter was not home. I thought I was doing better. It really scared me that I had such a strong reaction to this. I guess this is what they mean by a trigger?
deleted_user
Yup...that's exactly what they mean. My daughter's abuser's name was Tommy. I went through her entire closet and got rid of any Tommy Hilfiger stuff his parents had given her. They all say "Tommy girl" on them. I can't even stand the name now. Anything can be a trigger, from a song to exactly what you experienced with the movie. Just remember to breathe. I'll say an extra prayer today. It's rough when the trigger gets pulled!
deleted_user
I too get those "triggers"...but I'm starting to become just a little bit stronger in handling them. I do fall and I do fall apart from time to time....but learning that when I "go back there" for too long it simply gives the devil a foothold. Putting the pain into a positive outlet to help & educate others is empowering. Although I don't know you all personally I am so thankful to know that I am not alone in my deep pain...YOU are not alone. HUGS to you!! xo
annholly
Thanks ladies, it helps so much to have the support here and know that Im just not some crazy woman. I dont stay "back there" either, but wow it just threw me for a loop. If I never get to meet any of your here on earth, I sure would love to give you all a big hug in heaven!!! Holly
deleted_user
Yeah, I can so relate to this one. Normally I am ok, but I was recently at my daughter's school function and this family came up to me all excited that Daughter shares their last name. The name is unique and there are literally only two families with the name in my town. I was horrified because it is Ex's name and if I could I would have daughter's name changed in a freaking heart beat. I had to stand there and fake smile when inside I was melting down. And fair or not, every time I see the dad of this family my skin crawls. I honestly cannot tell if it is crawling for a good reason or if he reminds me of Ex.
deleted_user
Yup..triggers can be a sound, smell, taste, sense of any kind. A word... It's like a Veteran hearing a car backfire and they hit the ground b/c they think it's enemy fire. It brings you back to those raw emotions in a nano second. I am sorry you had to deal with this. Your child will most likely deal with them as well. Deep breathing helps with the anxiety it brings, as does aromatherapy and re. therapy. Good luck
annholly
Well it was my first one, so now I know what it was and that my reaction wasnt unusual. Imnotbroken that must have been a real tough night to get through. Are they related? All our radars are on high alert, how could they not be? We were so fooled when the abuse was going on, so its only natural that we are super sensitive to everything. We are in counceling, but nothing prepares you for those unexpected moments! Thanks for listening, it helps to talk about it. Holly
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